Why do I feel so small? I thought I would go on this World Race and experience amazing things. I would see beautiful places, meet wonderful people who come to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, and be open and available for God to use me each and every day. Why then, do I feel so small at the end of this Race? How come I think back over the year and wonder if I made a real difference in anything. Did I bring people closer to the Lord in each country? Or even bigger, did I lead anyone on my squad, the people that see me everyday, closer to the Lord? It doesn’t seem right that I even have to ask that question. Have I made a difference for the Lord by the way I live my life, the things I talk about, the way I reach out and serve people, the way I care about people, the way I show Jesus in my life? Do people look at me and see Jesus, or just another girl in the world?

Lord Jesus, I pray that people see you in me. I don’t want to have gone a whole year with people, and leave with them seeing me and not you. What a waste that would be, Lord. Why do I desire you so much, but feel like I cannot show others how deeply you move me? You are my ALL. You are my PASSION. You are my soul-quenching  DESIRE. You are what I want people to see. You are who I want people to know. When I feel for people and pray for people, it is because I want them to become Fully Alive in your majesty and your splendor.

What have I not laid down and given to you, Lord? Am I afraid of something or am I letting something hold me back from fully expressing All of you that’s in me? Am I not “forgetting what is behind and pressing on towards the goal (Philippians 3:13)”? You are my prize God, so if I am leaving a year on the World Race not showing only you, how do I show only you?  You know my heart Lord Jesus, you know the deep longing I have for others to see you fully. The only thing I ask Jesus, is that I leave you wherever I go. So if ever I do not leave you in the places I go or portray your unconditional love, show me and change my heart. I only want you! I only want you Lord! Help me to show only you God!