This week has been anything but relaxing, at least at first.
Last weekend I was able to spend it with my family, my brother’s family, and in-laws all celebrating the dedication of my youngest niece. It was so much fun to be in Chicago surrounded by loving people, the laughter and smiles of my nieces and the continual hugs. I loved it! I didn’t want to leave, but alas, school was on Monday.
As Monday rolled around I started to realize that my ears were hurting more than they were the past fews. I caved and went to the clinic later in the week to find out I indeed had a sinus infection. When you’re sick, you usually take some time to recover. Me, I took more time this week than I ever had.
One morning this week I got up an hour before my first class, not very exciting for me but I was just awoken and couldn’t go back to sleep. I decided to go ahead and get up and then spent some serious time in Hebrews.
I’ve been reading through the book of Hebrews for quite some time and I love it. It’s probably one of my favorite books of the Bible. The chapter I fell to when I opened the Word was Hebrews 4, ‘A Sabbath Rest for the People of God.’
As I was sitting in my chair in my common room sipping tea, this section took me by storm. Here was God telling His people to rest, just as He did on the seventh day. It’s a concept that I’m getting better with, but really hit me hard.
Here I was with my many to-do lists, homework up to my ears, work, fundraising, music, worship, shopping. You name it, it was probably one of my to-do lists of things I need to get done before I launch in January. But here was God saying, “Gwen, take some time for yourself. Come to me and you will find rest. You will be able to get it all done, just let me show you where to go next on your list. Don’t fret about it all, it will happen. You can’t rush it to feel more secure about the timing. It will all work out. Just come to me and rest.”
That is when I realized that I was too consumed by all that I ‘need’ to get done before I leave. What about seeing my friends and making the moments last? What about spending time with God and growing more in love with Him? What about enjoying the moments here until I leave and being in the moment not far away?
I wasn’t doing that. I was being consumed by my lists.
As I sat there in my common room, God calmed me for all that I have to do before I leave. He told me it’s ok to have hours when I sit on my bed and make goods to sell for fundraising, watch a little Netflix, write letters to people of thanks and telling them I love them. It’s ok for me to not be go-go-go all the time right now.
So yes, this week has probably been considered ‘lazy’ to some people, and sure I can pull the ‘I’m getting over a sinus infection so I need to rest’ card. Or I can be straight up and say ‘I’m relaxing. Because I need to, to be in the moment.’
And that is what you will find me doing. I hope that you relax too, and soon.
