Womanhood. The incredibly vast and unique journey of being a woman in the world. I’m not talking about the titles or occupations that one can attain, nor the stereotypes that so many claim because they never find their true identity.
Rather, I am talking about what it looks like to be a woman that has fallen in love with Jesus and has dedicated her whole life to following Him.
As I am closing one year of my life; gaining grey hair, a few wrinkles (on my knuckles of course), and moving from 22 to 23, I have been reflecting on what it means to be a woman that not only chases Jesus’ heart, but follows through in pursuit, surrender and vision.
When I was 19, I dedicated my heart to falling more in love with Jesus and told Him that I want to talk to women about boundaries, responsibilities and intimacy with men. I had already gone through an abnormal amount of relational experience for my age & because of that, I desired to know more about being a godly woman. Over time, Jesus has revealed to me the areas of focus that I desire to understand and communicate to women on a more intimate level.
First things first, we need to know that there is a huge difference between godly girls and godly women.
Below is a brief example of the differences in each ones emotional & mental maturity.
A godly girl will walk into a room and her eyes will instantly start scanning for a boy that stands out to her and in the forefront of her brain resides the assessment of whether or not the cutie to her left could be her next companion.
This displays that she has little faith – leading to a deeper belief that if she doesn’t find someone, then she never will.
A godly woman will walk into a room and keep her eyes glued straight forward. Un-wavered, because she is more concerned about the love and vision she has with Jesus.
This shows that she has faith that HE will provide someone in due time and has handed her relational desires over to Him.
Making the shift from a girl to a woman doesn’t happen over night. In fact, we will probably never stop growing in our maturity as godly women. However, a monumental milestone in your development is becoming confident and secure in who you are as a woman. This happens as you walk through and hand over core issues like insecurities, false realities and lies that we have ingrained into our own membranes.
Examples of these would be things like believing that you are worthy: worthy of a love not only from our Father, but also of a love from another earthly being.
Another would be forgiveness and acceptance: forgiving yourself of previous sins that have tainted your self perception, and acceptance that you are a freed and loved daughter of the King.
Walking through this forest of flames takes time and intentionality. Accepting yourself can be a hard thing to do, especially when you have made numerous mistakes and fallen into the same temptations over and over again. But learning how to extend grace to yourself is essential to being a bold, secure and confident woman of God.
Another mark of being a godly woman would be self-control and responsibility. Do you have the ability to recognize your weaknesses and respond accordingly? Will you have the strength to set up boundaries and accountability for yourself?
A godly woman has a goal to keep herself pure and in line with Jesus’ heart.
Not in line with the worlds, not with the cute guy standing in line at Starbucks, and not with the girlfriends that are husband hungry.
An example of what this could look like would go something like this:
Say you think a guy at church is cute and you are attracted to him. However, you’re fresh out of the oven from a break up and you learn that he has a girlfriend. You, being a woman, have already taken your feelings to the Lord the moment you recognized them hangin’ there. But after learning about the girlfriend, you then reach out to a close friend for accountability with your thought life and quality of interactions with this guy. Your friend would be a second person, (the first being Jesus), that you would go to for accountability so that you can maintain a healthy and respectful relationship with your new friend. This accountability would help protect your emotional, mental and spiritual health.
A woman would be very alert and aware of the way she needs to carry and hold herself, in order to maintain an healthy, honoring and respectful connection. She would practice emotional discipline and accountability – prioritizing Jesus above all else.
A girl would be ignorant and disrespectful – perhaps unknowingly, but nonetheless would cross inappropriate boundaries that wouldn’t be helpful, healthy, or fair for the man or for herself. She would flirt, fantasize, and let her thoughts run rapid without any accountability or responsibility.
This is a minor example, but as you can see there is a drastic difference between the ways of a girl and the ways of a woman. The woman takes responsibility for her weaknesses and places them at His feet, asking Him to take them and then realigning her focus back to His radiant face – strives to maintain self-control that is honoring to Jesus and herself.
Godly girls have good intentions and desires about working for the Kingdom but the second they meet a good guy, those disappear into the far-off distance and now the new goal becomes marriage – thinking that marriage will fix everything and make all their “dreams” come true. Desperation can lead to settlement.
A godly woman has a vision – she has her dreams, surrendering them all into the palms of His hands, and then sets goals in place in order to keep herself moving forward with Him in their shared vision.
She is in a secret partnership with Jesus: a secret mission. Her first priority is to keep that secret partnership sacred and protected. She does not let anything or anyone come in between her and her vision with Jesus. She turns to Him for her love fill, spends her time trying to get close to His heart and keeps running at a pace that Jesus enables.
If a man cannot keep up with her pace, she does not let him cross over into her lane because she is aware of the risky temptation at stake if she permits a crossing – being that there would be a high possibility of him distracting her from her vision.
A girl will slow her pace from running to jogging. A woman will keep her pace, and if need be she will go from running to sprinting, just to ensure that he has the endurance and ability to maintain the pace.
A girl will not observe a mans ability to run with her.
A woman will spend intentional time observing if a man can keep at her pace.
Something to remember is that every woman’s pace is different. This is not a bad thing. This is natural, considering that none of us are the same. Jesus is the only one that can set your pace and you have the power and freedom to decide whether or not you want to run at it. Mind you, while a girl will typically choose whatever is easiest, a woman will desire to gain strength and be pushed into the deep.
Becoming a godly woman takes time and practice. It’s like training for a marathon; you have to be dedicated, focused and determined to train your body. Being confident in your identity in the Lord, growing discernment, responding instead of reacting, self-control, responsibility and motivation — all of these behavioral skills require a lot of training and discipline.
Of course there is a plethora of detail that is contained inside womanhood – much like there are many different marathon training methods. These are just a few that I have found to be life-giving, healthy and honoring for Jesus, men and of course, women.
The subject matter that is written above is something that I am incredibly passionate about and I am consistently learning and growing in; from and through Jesus. Please take into consideration that this is a very small snippet into my heart about Jesus and becoming a woman.
I’m no expert and I for sure fail daily at upholding my end of the commitment. I sin everyday, whatever that may look like, and I am consistently being humbled in my behavioral skills and spiritual maturity. However, I have graciously learned a lot by intentionally pressing into these uncomfortable and challenging areas.
My hope and prayer is that you learned a little more about being a woman of God and that you did so by hearing His voice speak to you through these jumbled words. May you seek to cherish the time in your garden with Him, for He is the one that gives your soul the deepest of loves.
“Come, my beloved, let us go out into the fields.”
Songs of Solomon 7:11
