Have you ever had someone receive a picture of you from Jesus? If you have not, it is one of the sweetest things that Jesus does between relationships with one another. He uses our relationships to be witnesses to one another, if we are willing to surrender and let Jesus work.
Recently, Tucker, a very dear and sincere friend of mine received a picture of me from Jesus and shared it with me.
Jesus had shown Tucker a snap of me sitting criss cross applesauce at the feet of Jesus. He saw me leaning in so close to Jesus, resting my head on His chest, so that I could feel Jesus’ heart beat – waiting to hear more about Jesus’ heart and His heart for me.
What Tucker didn’t know was that I usually do my best to go to the feet of Jesus every morning and I am almost always sitting on the floor, criss cross apple sauce.
Nutty right??
But now you’re probably thinking, “Where on earth is this story going?”
Well lean in close and let me tell you.
Lately Jesus has been stripping me of my hard engraved habits of staying inside of my “box” where I feel comfortable and safe. Where I strive to perform for everyone in my life, including Jesus. It is something that I have done since I was a little girl because I am a huge people pleaser, peace keeper and have always felt like I need to earn love from people.
Sadly, this thought process and idea of living is not helpful whatsoever. It doesn’t help me, others or Jesus. Having this mind set was stunting my growth with Jesus because I was trying to prove to Him that I am worthy of loving by setting the stage for a very strict performance on my womanhood, my life, my beliefs and my goals/aspirations for Him and everyone else to see.
Realizing that I have been trapping myself inside of my own box and setting out precisely chosen items for other people to see and play with, was incredibly eye opening.
Actually, it can be very confusing as well, because for the first time, I was seeing that I have been fooling myself to who I really was.
Taking this to Jesus has been hard. I have had to spend an extended amount of time in my Secret Place with Jesus, asking Him to show me who I am IN Him and by His standards.
Then there are the days where you have life altering break through.
You see, I don’t need to perform. I don’t need to make myself into something that would please everyone. I don’t need to dance a certain dance or sing a certain song. I don’t need to bring anything to Jesus.
Part of getting outside of your box, or stepping off of the stage is realizing that you don’t need to DO anything for Jesus to love you.
What He is more concerned about is you spending time with Him, getting to know who He is, how His heart functions and how He loves you.
He just wants you to BE with Him.
In return, He starts showing you more and more of who you truly are in Him. You become more hungry for Him and you start to desire more of who He is and more of His love. Your slight thirst for Him turns into a desperation to be quenched by Him.
A few days passed after I received the picture that Jesus gave Tucker, and I found myself sitting on the balcony, in the crisp, cool, morning air with Jesus and He whispered to me…
“You don’t need to do a thing.
You simply just need to BE with me. Stay here with me.
Love on me a little longer.”
Wrecked.
Completely wrecked.
I just need to sit here, criss cross applesauce,
leaning into Him, listening to His heart beat and
simply BE with Him.
If you share in the similar struggles with performance and trapping yourself inside your own box, I would encourage you to go spend some good quality time with Jesus and reflect.
Ask Him to show you your true identity IN Him and then simply BE there with Him.
I promise you that if you start to get to know Jesus and His heart, you will stop worrying about yourself and He will do the rest for you.
Go BE with Him my sweet brothers and sisters.
“As soon as Jesus was baptized He went up out of the water.
At that moment heaven was opened and He saw
the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on Him.
And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my son, whom I love;
with Him I am well pleased.’”
Matthew 3:16-17
