God, I am awestruck by your creation. Every morning I am blown away by a new painting You created to show us a glimpse of who you are. As I have been here in the Philippines for over 2 weeks now, I see you not only in the landscape but also in the people. I see joy on their faces, I see generosity continously pouring from their hearts, and I see diligent working hands everyday, these people are created in your image. With all that said, I am still at a loss of why my heart still feels the same as the day I left. I have seen some serious poverty but yet my heart doesn’t break, compassion isn’t a feeling that has come over me. Why? I feel that I should be in tears wherever I go but yet not one drop has appeared from my eye for all the people I have seen. Why? Is there something I am doing, or not doing in either case? I know your heart breaks for the oppressed, for the impoverished, for the orphans, for the widows, for those who are seeking you but finding temporary fixes in everything else, but yet my heart doesn’t. It scares me to be quiet honest. My head tells me I should feel something, and I want to feel something but I can’t force my heart to feel a certain way. Lord I have given you my whole life to you, including my heart, and so I am confused as why it isn’t hurting with yours. It truly is Yours to use. I am trusting that in due time, you will help me feel the way you do. Help me to be patient in waiting, but in my waiting for the break may I be consistent and persistent in my walk with you. You are my Love and my Life and I desire you. Lead me in Your Way Father. Amen.
