So as it turns out, I’m a bit of a workaholic. Maybe I should say ministryaholic. Ministry is what I’m here for. I came on the World Race to do ministry, to learn about different ministries, and to potentially partner with a ministry. I love digging fish ponds for people, I love teaching English to kids, I love harvesting black beans on Christmas Eve, I love playing basketball in the community, I love all of it. It’s one of the wonderful ways God made me. Except for that -aholic part. Addicted part.
My first three months on the Race I invested everything I had into ministry. Despite waking up at the crack of dawn to cook breakfast with our contact, working hard throughout the day until I crashed on my fab sleeping pad at night, I felt like I could always be doing more. There were always ways I could give more; more of my time, money, and resources to help people. And in a way this is a great mentality to have. I recently listened to a Francis Chan podcast where he said he didn’t have time to argue with his wife; there were too many more important things to do to further the Kingdom of God. We don’t know when Christ will return; there is a certain urgency to be spreading the Gospel and bringing more people to Jesus Christ.
But for me, even in my down times, I felt this nagging tug to get out and play with kids or chat with the pastor’s wife. I never truly enjoyed my free time because I felt this lingering responsibility to set a good example and do more.
Then came month 4. I took a step back from leadership as the girls from my team joined girls from another co-ed team while our guys were off having “manistry” month. We stayed at a children’s home called Fountains of Hope. We taught English at their school for an hour every morning but after that, we were pretty much free until the end of the day. At first I struggled with all of our unstructured time. I wanted to be doing more, serving more, helping more… but there was nothing to be done. We were fortunate to experience some cold weather in the month of December, so we took to cozy coffee shops and bought flannels and spent our afternoons reading and spending time with the Lord.
In those times I learned so much about the Sabbath. God’s holy command for his people to take a break. At first he even makes it impossible for the people to work. “Six days you shall gather [bread], but on the seventh day, which is a Sabbath, there will be none” (Exodus 16:26). There was literally nothing for them to do on the seventh day. I needed to take note of that. Work hard, yes, but when God gives you rest, take it. It’s a command. Isaiah writes, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength” (30:15). This was key for me. To repent and return to the Lord. Entering into God’s rest is to enjoy His presence. To not rest is to put yourself through hell. For real. Revelation 14:11 says, “And the smoke of their torment goes up forever and ever, and they have no rest, day or night, these worshipers of the beast and its image, and whoever receives the mark of its name.” There’s no rest in hell. How awful does that sound? Yet this very hellish activity is exactly what I was putting myself through by not taking time to truly rest, refresh, restore, and rejuvenate in the Lord.
This is still an on-going process. I cannot say I’ve mastered the art of Sabbath rest, but I can say I’m trying. I take quiet moments to watch the sunset over the farmlands of our tiny village in Cambodia every evening. Going for long peaceful runs out on the endless dirt roads is refreshing for me. I am finding different ways that I enjoy Sabbath rest as God constantly pursues me and woos me into His presence.
Forever His,
Grace
