So you’ve just taken the next step in what God wants from you. You’re unsure of every step you’re making. Even this blog post you’re writing makes you feel a little unsure. What are you even sure of? I mean, do you really think God could use you? Do you really think you’re all that special? You? Grace Owens? You’re so damaged. You’re so clueless. You don’t even know what you want.
I can’t escape this mindset and the way I think stops me in my tracks with fear. I don’t even want to keep moving forward in fear of failing if I actually try.
And that is my life. Let’s not try, so if we fail it’s not like we tried, right?
Then God shows up. As I am sitting in this darkness, God reveals to me that He knows me through and through. My fears of not raising enough money, of not being able to fulfill His call on my life, to not be able to make the difference I know He is calling me to make. He knows where I’m at.
He shows up in a co-worker as she tells me the story of Elijah carrying a bull to an altar soaked in water and sacrificing it to the Lord [1 Kings 18]. I am reminded of God doing things that seem undoable, like raising more money than I have ever seen inside of the span of a few months. By taking this clueless, damaged, unsure girl, and using her to spread the Gospel. He reminds me that my work is going to be blessed and that He will honor my faithfulness.
He shows up in a friend calling me at 10:45 at night in order to tell me they’ve been praying for me and to tell me “God is going to honor your faithfulness and He is going to use you in ways you can’t even imagine, and don’t let fear hold you back.”
He shows up in a person, whom I have never met, taking the time to talk me through my insecurities, and who took the time to pray about things to tell me before I walked through the door and let me know that God is going to use me in unique ways as well as provide everything I need. ME. Grace Owens. I am going to be used. God is going to use me.
I am posting this blog to let you know that God takes into consideration the tiniest things you’re feeling, and comforts you. He cares about the moments when you’re stressed about something that seems effortless for other people.
I am also writing this blog for the people who feel as though God has forgotten you.
I want to let every one of you know that I have never in my life felt like I had anything important to say. I have never felt like I had a place that was important in this world. I want you to know that whether God is using you to spread His word across the world, in your own home, across the country, or at a grocery store, God has you somewhere for a specific purpose and you are just as important to Him as anyone else. You are His favorite.
