First of all, I want to point out that community living is difficult no matter who you are, what family you came from, or how many social graces you have. Community living on the World Race is like being married to multiple partners that you didn’t choose. Being a solid introvert, I often rebelled at the thought that God teaches us through people. No, God and I are over here having a blast, and we don’t need you to come over and irritate us with your obnoxious ways. It took me a long time to realise that the reason I was so often irritated was because I was putting my ideals/opinions/ actions above everyone else’s. My feelings were hurt when I was corrected because, well they just didn’t know where I was coming from… or they could of said that in a nicer way…. All just nice words to cover up the real problem: pride.
It took quite a few months (and quite a few tears) for me to see the root of the problem in myself, and then I thought that I had two options. I could be miserable (and make everyone else around me miserable in the process), or I could be humble. The strange thing about humility is that it’s not something that you can sit down and say, “Ok, I’m gonna be humble 20 times today.” It’s not something to be achieved. I had to come before the Lord and present my pride, and ask Him to change it. I also had to become self-aware of when I was starting to act out of pride. To help with this, I started memorizing Philippians 2. “Having this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Christ’s life was marked by humility, from His arrival to His ascension. He WAS God, and He chose to be a servant. How ironic in a world full of servants who are striving to be gods. I mulled over the words, trying to imagine how different my life would be if I had the humility Christ had. I wish I could tell you of a great transformation. I can only tell you how much more aware I am of my struggle.
At the beginning of month eight, we had team changes. Up to this point, I had been on all-girls teams, and I, for the most part, enjoyed being on them. This team change brought two young men to our team. I was more curious than anything as to how this dynamic would play out. My team previously had made love and putting other’s first our team philosophy. We believed that it was the key to being able to live in peace and harmony with each other. I felt like I had a slight grasp on how to love women, but did you love men the same way? Was that even ok to do? Growing up as a teenager in the church, boys were bad. They were the root of unwanted pregnancies, and the source of all lust. The only time it was acceptable to “love” them is if you were marrying them, although getting to that point without the unmentionable sins seemed a harrowing process. Loving them without wanting a relationship was dismissed as pointless, not to mention the constant cultural wars being battled of which sex was “better.” To be honest, in the midst of all this I was hashtag confused. I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t do anything at all.
In of our team times, the issue of objectification was brought up. Surprisingly, it was not the women who felt as if they were being treated like objects, it was the men. I listened in amazement as these men poured out the hurt that had been rendered by the thoughtless actions of women. We were comfortable talking about “the lack of good men” and oggling after every “hot guy” that walked by, but we were less comfortable with how our actions were defeating the cause we were supposedly rooting for. It’s humbling to think of all the times I used men to get what I wanted from them. I’m truly sorry for that. I vowed that day to begin a different mindset. A mindset that valued men as image-bearers of God and co-laborers in the faith rather than whether they would be suitable husbands or not.
Here in Africa, the sense of community is strong. Even in Bulawayo, the second largest city in Zimbabwe, neighbours will offer to give you a “lift” into town. Bus drivers will pull over in the middle of their route to help their fellow bus driver. Relationships are priority. I am humbled by the servant’s heart that abounds here, and I dream of having the same heart.
Please pray with me that I would be a person that sees all people- man, woman, child, black, white, disabled, abled- as image bearers of God. That I wouldn’t look at them sizing them up for what they could do for me, but that I would see myself as a servant to everyone around me. That I would stay rooted and grounded in love, and I could gift love to those I encounter.
