This one’s for you, Grmom
My last week spent with my grandmother was just as amazing to me as if I saw God do a miraculous healing in Africa.
My grandmother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer while I was living in the Philippines. A few weeks ago, I got a call from my mum, explaining she was getting a plane ticket for me to come home the next day. Grmom was not doing well and I needed to say goodbye.
One of the things I will never cease to thank God for is the beautiful group of people who spend their lives letting me know how loved I am. My grandmother is one of those people.
Most of the time, I learn lessons through reflection, after all is said and done. That said, I’m confident I’m going to continue learning the lessons my grandmother taught me until the day I die, but with knowing her time was coming to an end, I was able to reflect with her and recognize how influential she was on my life.
When my father left, my grandmother and grandfather moved in to help my mum take care of my three older brothers and me. She transitioned her life into a living sacrifice and depiction of love to our family. I always refer to my grandmother as “the closest thing to Jesus I’ve ever known,” and it’s because of things like this. Whenever I would tell her, she’d only deny it, her humility only proving my point more.
One crucial piece of wisdom she expressed to me was to come at all situations with love and never go to sleep angry. Her gentleness and kindness taught me that. There was an instance some time ago where someone had offended her. Her way of handling it was through confronting the person; she asked if they were okay, because she saw they were speaking from an angry place in their heart. Instead of settling for anger, she chose to seek the wellbeing of the one offending her. Some people make you want to be a better person simply by being with them and witnessing their lives. She was one of those people.
She was my favorite feminist. My grandmother and I had discussions all the time on feminism and what the Bible has to say about women. Most of our talks began with me having a problem with the word ‘submission’ and in the Bible, how women are told to respect their husbands, while men only have to love their wives. I hated the feeling that I was being given a lesser role than a man just for being a girl and my inner feminist came out. Her marriage was a living representation of the way a husband and wife are designed to work together, arguing her stance on the topic. She showed that love and respect are a two way street. While her husband loved her so well, she couldn’t help but show her respect for him through her service to her entire family, also demonstrating submission. It wasn’t the way I looked at it with one dominant authority overpowering another but two equals both striving to live more like Jesus. We ended our discussions talking about how much Jesus did for the women of his time by speaking up for them and giving them a voice.
Her life was the epitome of adventure. She went to nursing school, got married, and raised a family. She didn’t live life doing thrilling excursions or anything, but the way she lived for those around her was the most adventurous way of life I’ve ever seen. She taught to always find joy, love people with the value the Lord has for them, and to enjoy where you are in the moment. People can live making their wildest dreams a reality, but without striving for the important pieces of life, they miss out. My grandmother lived to the fullest.
On the flight to Philadelphia, I asked God to just make my time home beautiful. I didn’t know if I was going to be there to just have quality time or her passing or her funeral; He blessed me with the opportunity to have all three.
I was able to see her joyful self, radiant as ever, cry with her about it possibly being our last time together, and read a letter of how much I love her.
Throughout the craziness of it all, I felt God in each moment. I’d love to be able to say that I was praying really hard and looking to my Bible for strength, but I wasn’t. Most of my prayers were me occasionally saying the word ‘help’ to God under my breath, but He always came through, even when I forgot to ask Him to be with me. I’ve never felt Him hold my hand as much.
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. Psalm 73:23
God came through. He made our time beautiful and healing and comforted me the entire way through. Like I said, this is for my grandmother and to share the wonderful things she taught to me as well as everyone who knew her. She was a genuinely special lady.
