I haven’t blogged for a while, which is partly due to my own laziness and partly due to this whirlwind thing I’ve called life. Since deciding to go on the race during winter, my life and the end of my senior year was jam packed. It was jam packed full of emotions, activities, friends, honors, and a lot of bittersweetness.
I was apart of an incredible experience called Kairos and was able lead on the following retreat. I gained a lot of respect for my classmates, laughed with them, danced with them, fell in love with them, and had to say goodbye to most of them. I also said goodbye to a place I’ve called home for the past four years and the comfort of routines, familiar faces, and being on top. I learned that God works in incredible ways, that trying to put expectations on Him doesn’t really work out, and that His plan is better than any we could ever imagine.
I learned a lot about people, moments, and life during the second half of my senior year. Through all of that, it was really hard to focus on my trip. My life and mind were constantly jumping to the next thing and it left little room to think about the Race. Since summer started, that has been a completely different story.
Not thinking about the Race left all of my emotions at arms length. They were just out of my reach and I wasn’t about to make the effort to grab them. I knew it would mean confronting the fact that I’m leaving for nine months and have no idea what I’m doing. That’s what was causing all of my fear before anyways. Recently, I’ve been able to start to put it all into perspective. I’ve been able to come face to face with the hard facts and my soon to be reality.
I’m really doing this. I’m really leaving. And I’m really excited.
That last statement was reiterated this past week with my family. I spent a week at the beach with my mom’s side of the family, and to say it was much needed would be an understatement. It made me so happy to be able to spend quality time with all of them before I left. One particular night they asked to pray for me. I sat in the middle of them as they all laid hands on me and spoke words of love and strength over me (not a dry eye in that house). That moment will be burned into my memory for the rest of my life.
Earlier that same day I was talking to my cousin about my trip. I was telling him about how excited I was, but that I was nervous that I was spiritually lacking and wouldn’t be as prepared as others. He told me something else that will stick with me. He said when you really need it, you’ll know what to say. God will give you the words and confidence. Needless to say, I came out of that week with so much confidence and peace in Him.
Now in two short weeks, I’ll be in Georgia surrounded by the precious people I’ll be spending the next nine months of my life with. Disregard the cheesy words that you are about to read, but I get butterflies thinking about meeting them. I have yet to physically see them, yet I have an immense love for them, their hearts, and the experience we will go through. I can’t wait to begin our journey together.
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As far as fundraising goes, I’m currently at $11,342 out of $12,487. I have been in awe of how much support I have received and how God has continually provided. I can’t thank everyone enough for their donations, love, and thoughts. I’m sure I’ll have a lot to say when I’m back from Training Camp, so that’s all for now. Much love.
