The joy of the Lord, which had been such a powerful source
of strength in Thailand during month 5, slowly leaked out of me as we continued
ministry in Africa. Africa can be a very spiritually dry place. While you meet
many Christians, there is so much more going on in Africa that if you are not
constantly soaking in God’s word and God’s presence, you dry out like a sponge
that’s been left in the sun. A dry sponge, as everyone knows, is not useful.
The purpose of a sponge is to be wet-to soak up the mess and squeeze it out, to
soak up water and cleanse a dirty surface, to soak up and squirt out.
By the middle of our time in Uganda, I couldn’t wait to
leave Africa. It wasn’t what I expected-where were my orphans? It wasn’t what I
wanted. Never mind that many in Africa are hungry for the hope the gospel
provides-it wasn’t what I thought it was supposed to be and so I was just oh so
done.
Terrible attitude, I know. Looking back, I fight against
regret, and know now to fight for truth and spiritual refreshment. To fight
against apathy and against misunderstanding.
But then, our last week in Uganda, I was ready to be done. I
was ready to be in Europe, which I understood would hold its own challenges,
but which would also hopefully hold hot showers, some new clothes, and indoor
plumbing. Ideally, we would also not be forced to eat many, many carbohydrates
and then get chided for being fat. (I’m not bitter, I promise-I have dealt with
these emotions with God and we are good and while Africa is not on the top of
my list to go back to, I am pretty sure I’m not as done with the continent as I
had originally hoped, and I am okay with what the future may bring).
So anyway, I rolled into Ireland and the Awakening dry as
dead bones in the sun, exhausted and looking for refreshment. I was hurting and
needed loving. God met me in Ireland in amazing ways. The worship was
Spirit-filled and wonderfully wet. My dry sponge self unfurled as I soaked in
God’s presence and let myself be loved and be free.
God gave me dreams and visions for the future. He spoke into
my heart and woke me up from my dry, hurting self into someone who wanted to
finish the race strong, who wanted to let go of the hurts and just love and be
loved. He woke me up into the greatness He was calling me into.
Team changes that month shook things up, and my team began
pouring life into each other. Worship 3-4x a week in Romania allowed all of us
to soak in God’s presence and to worship our Creator. When you are filled up
with God, you can then pour out to others. So here in Ireland and Romania, God
was waking me up as His child, reminding me who I am, and giving me what I
needed to keep going.
God used many people that month to speak into my life and
encourage me into the greatness God was calling me into. He used them as
mouthpieces to wake me up-to stop settling and start living.
