Progress

February
7, 2011

I
am laying in my bed in Hong Kong, replaying the day in my head. A conversation
I had with my friend sticks out.

Me:
“I hate it when people ask me what my favorite country from the world race was.
The answer is Thailand but the why changes depending on who I am talking to. If
it’s someone who isn’t Christian, then I focus on more of the people I was with
and what we got to do. But if it is a Christian…”

My
friend: “Why? Shouldn’t it be the same? Wouldn’t that be a good thing to share?”

Me:
“Yes, but…”

And
it hits me again-have I really changed? Why do I still hesitate to share my
faith with my friends? How am I different after spending a year on the overseas
missions field?

My
mind rewinds to even earlier today. We went to visit the Big Buddha on Lantau
Island.

My
heart starts to beat more quickly in my chest. Tears prick my eyes. I want to
stand on top of something and scream, “What are you believing in? This
statue…is just that. A nice piece of art. But there is no power in it. Bowing
down and offering incense won’t help you. But I know what can. I know who will.
Did you know there is a God, the only GOD, who loves you? Who created you to be
exactly who you are? Who has a marvelous plan for your life? Who longs to be
the one you worship and love, and will love you in return, with an everlasting
love?”

Oh
Asia. Oh Australia/New Zealand. Oh Africa. Oh Europe. Oh America. We all bow
down to something. As creatures made to worship, if we aren’t worshipping God,
we are bowing down somewhere else. To money. To politics. To sex. To tradition.
To love. To addiction. To other gods and other idols.

I
don’t claim to be exempt. I struggle with this too. But having been exposed to
the truth, it breaks my heart when I see so many people who may never hear the
truth. The millions of people, especially in Asia, caught in the bondage of a
religion of works, instead of the freedom of a relationship of grace.

And this is where God gently nudges my spirit
and reminds me that I have changed.

Because
18 months ago, I would not have felt this way. I would have visited Las Vegas
and thought, eh, live and let live. I
would have visited a temple or monastery and thought, wow. Cool cultural exchange, but nothing more. My heart wouldn’t be
broken and tears wouldn’t be filling my eyes for the lost, and the broken, and
the imprisoned.

Because
this is how it sometimes looks when God gives you some of his heart. When he
answers that loaded prayer of “Break my heart for what breaks yours.”

Maybe
it wasn’t the orphans or the trafficked that I personally was called on the
race for. The Lord knows He laid those on my heart to get me to sign up, but
when push came to shove, God started breaking my heart for the lost and
hurting. He showed me that any of his children who do not call him father are
orphans. He showed me that we are all wont to love anything but him, to pursue
the world and not the Word, that prostitution is not limited to those forced
into it, but to all of us who have whored out our hearts to anything but God.

And
so, in this, you may still be wondering, “So why, Glenalyn, was Thailand your
favorite country?”

Among
all the amazing experiences (graduation, swimming with dolphins, “safaris” to
Swensen’s), among the amazing ministry opportunities (teaching English and
sharing the Gospel with monks, loving Thai school children, singing worship
songs in public schools, being a “superstar”), among the wonderful sisterhood
we developed that month…

Thailand
was my favorite country, my favorite month, because there God showed me how to
have a heart for the lost. How to prayerfully intercede on behalf of a nation.
He broke my heart for the entire nation of Thailand, the children who grow up
there without seeing light, the grandparents praying to statues, the parents
working so hard to provide for their families, the men who seek love and
approval and use prostitutes for this, because it is “part of the culture.” He
showed me how to love, how to live in a way that was praying without ceasing.

For
the first time, I felt the burden and the desire to see light break forth in a
nation. I wanted revival in Thailand. I wanted the Holy Spirit to fall so heavy
on the whole country that people couldn’t help but fall in love with Jesus.

So
basically, Thailand was my favorite because the Lord woke me up so huge there.

And
now, dear reader, you may be thinking this is leading up to some big
announcement.

But
it’s not. This heart I have for Thailand… Well, the Lord has transferred it to/shared
it with America. The same things I desire for Thailand I also desire for my
home nation. I want to see the light of God break forth throughout America. I
want to see the Holy Spirit dwell so thickly that people can’t help but fall in
love with Jesus. I want to see a nation awakened for God, and thirsty for
truth, and filled with light and love.

I
don’t know what this looks like, and I don’t know what part I will play. I just
know every time I see Christians who still don’t seem to really know what it’s
like to be free and living under abundant grace, my heart breaks a little more.
Because I was that typical, comfortable Christian. I gave money to charities, I
went on short-term trips, but I was not about to “shove my religion” down
anyone’s throat.

This
year I learned about walking in freedom. I experienced amazing grace. I saw the
power of God in new and awesome ways. This year I learned to stand firm in the
word of the Lord. I learned to believe in Him, to trust no matter what. I
became more and more convinced in the truth, and willing to fight for it.

In
Hungary, a student asked me if I had become more tolerant since I had met so
many people with so many different belief systems.

The
answer I responded with kind of surprised me, but it’s true. I have become more
convinced in the truth of God and less willing to let people just go their own
way…since that way isn’t a way God wants them to go. He wants them to turn to
Him, and I want that for them too.

Not
that I am into shoving anything down anyone’s throats. But my heart is broken,
and I am ready to fight. I am fighting. I am praying. And I am waiting on God.
While I wait…

This
is what I am listening to: