I love telling people about the ministry God’s doing in the places where we are at, but I also hope to share with you every month what God has been doing in my heart and life. Below is the Ecuador Edition! Sidenote: We made it to Peru and and are excited to work with the church and youth in Loredo and see how the Holy Spirit is going to move. More info soon!
People say you only get out of something what you put into it. My greatest fear at this point is getting to the end of the World Race and being the same person I was when I left. I don’t want that but it is going to take more than me not wanting something to make it not happen. The Lord has been showing me some of what He wants to do in my life over the next year if I commit to every day taking steps in faith. That can look as simple as speaking a word of life over someone and being honest with my team about what I am feeling instead of keeping it to myself. It can also look like listening and obeying those Holy Spirit nudges when you feel them.
I have been reading this allegory called Hinds Feet in High Places about a girl named Much Afraid who desperately wants to go to the High Places with the Shepherd. It follows her journey from the Valley of Humiliation to the Father’s Kingdom in the Realm of Love. At one point the path takes her away from the High Places toward the desert and she tells the Shepherd that surely that she is not meant to go down there when he promised her he would take her to the High Places where she would receive a new name. He tells her that all his servants have to travel this way before they get to the High Places. In the desert she watches as woman bruise and grind the cornmeal to make bread, as a potter molds and remakes a pot of clay, and as stones get refined in the fire of the furnace. The end product of each of these processes is beautiful but to get there it is not easy. Look at the words: bruise, mold, and fire.
One day the girls on my team were praying over one another and one of my teammates prayed that I would be broken before God. In my head I’m thinking “Don’t pray that.” I mean who really wants to be broken. Then a couple nights later, I went to bed with a heavy heart and couldn’t sleep. I felt like the Holy Spirit was saying “Get out of your tent, get out of your tent.” I went into the Pastor’s office, which I didn’t remember until later has a big rat living in it, and just started praying and reading the Word. I was finding it a little difficult to concentrate and all of the sudden I thought to myself…I can’t do this. I just can’t do it and in that moment I felt broken before Him. Then a song came on my ipod by Ginny Owens which says this: Bow me, bow all that I am and heal me by the blood of the Lamb and mold me by you gracious hand. Make me till I’m only Yours. It’s like the lesson Much Afraid learned in the desert. As she came out of that she saw a flower whose name was Acceptance-with-Joy.
The things in this life that are the most worth it are often the most difficult because we have to lay down ourselves to get there and lets face sometimes we like ourselves a little too much. At least I do. But it’s like Jesus said those who lose their life for His sake will find it. We got to lose it first before we can find it and the awesome promise for us to remember is that the life Jesus brings is an abundant one, a life to the full. To be honest, I’m not sure what that is going to look like over the next 10 months, but I do know that I want more of Him. I want, like Much Afraid, to say I accept whatever He brings with joy. I want to truly love people not caring whether or not they can love me in return and I want to walk in faith knowing that is enough.
