It was two
springs ago that I sat in my graduate office researching international
agricultural programs. My best friend, who was also in the same program, sat
but 100 yards from me in her own office, typing vigorously, re-entering words
in hopes of finding research that supported her culminating project as well as
a job. A g-chat message popped up from her. “Ging! Check this out!!” she sent
me the link to the World Race. Her search had unearthed gold. I opened it
immediately – heart beating faster and faster as I read through the site. I
want to do this! But
when? I still had a year left of graduate school … but maybe…
During the next year, the thought of the World Race rumbled around as I
completed my degree. I started the application as my graduate year drew to a
close but to be honest, the thought of “racing around the world” was
exhausting. I was pure tuckered out after the onslaught of school was nearing
closure. It wasn’t time yet to leave State College. A communications position
was offered to me at my local church – a church that had encouraged my Holy
Discontent, opened my eyes to orphans, and become my community of grace. I took
the position and trusted God to reveal, in His timing, what was the next step.
Though the year didn’t look as restful as I thought it would be, God used it to
continue transforming and restoring my heart (a process that will continue!).
It was mid-way through the year, when God started to say it was time to go,
that my time in State College was up (at least for now). I had no idea what to
do though. A dear friend started reminding me of some of my dreams – one of
which was the World Race. (It’s a good thing that God sends us friends to
remind us of the dreams He’s placed inside of us when we’re down and
discouraged.)
I asked God, “but why do I need to go around the world? … I’ve been ‘around the world’ – I’ve seen it.” His answer was humbling. “Do you REALLY think you have an
accurate world view? I have much more to show you, Ginger.”
When I visited my family a month later, my niece wanted to show me her room.
But her room wasn’t enough. She kept leading me to other rooms or other toys
exclaiming with joy, “But there’s more, Auntie Ginger! And there’s even more!” In her voice, was the voice of my Shepherd, saying “I have more to show you.”
This time it might not be to the destinations your heart has been set on
seeing … there might not be the exquisite scenery of New Zealand, or a wonder of
the world, but these places, these people are my creation, treasured in My
sight. I love them, just as I love you.
“But God, I
have how many degrees?! I’m going to have to ask people for money. I don’t want
to ask for help! What are they going to think?” Ugh. Still living for other people?
The voice of a Sunday School teacher rang “live AUG – Approved Unto God.” And
then the reality that every thing I have – whether it be a job or a scholarship
or an education or faith – all are gifts from above. Who was I to think, I
didn’t need or want help? Another humbling point.
We’re all on a race. And if my Father wanted me to enter another Race – a World
Race – then I wanted to be obedient. It isn’t about how many countries we’re
going to. It isn’t about the adventure parts. By His Grace, my heart has changed, is changing – break my heart for what breaks Yours, God. Show me so I can show
others. Give me words to speak. Smooth the rough edges of this heart.
I don’t fully know why God has called me to the World Race – I probably won’t
know all the reasons until heaven. But I go to learn, to serve, to love, to see
God, to point others to Him, to further develop my art (writing, photography,
even video), to embrace who He has created me to be, to lead and to be led, to
hold orphans, to eat with prostitutes, to know God and the power that raised
Christ from the dead.
I learned about being a shepherd in New Zealand. God led me to green pastures
in State College. He has restored my soul. Now He’s calling me to Feed His
Sheep.
