Brokenness and Vulnerability.
This past January I went to the Passion conference in ATL. On the last morning of the conference, something happened. God healed me from a past that I had hidden and concealed for years. He broke me and completely emptied me. But then, he filled me, overflowed from me, and He healed me. Did you hear me?? I said, He healed me!
– Louie Giglio
Coming back from the conference, I realized that I didn't know as much about the Bible as I wanted to, so a friend (Katie) and I started reading through the book of Romans. God was teaching me tons through this book. (A little background again: I was the student-coordinator for our weekly worship service called Common Ground [now called Rooted] and we were struggling to know exactly what God wanted us to talk about this semester) Right before school started back in session, I went to my campus minister and told him that I thought that we needed to read through the book of Romans in Common Ground. God was teaching me a lot and I thought the rest of the campus needed to read it, too. So, we did.
The second week into our series, my campus minister wasn't going to be in town, so I stupidly volunteered Katie and myself to preach that night. Wait a minute, we don't preach. What was I thinking?!?
At the Common Ground service, Katie and I sat on stools, handed each other the letters we wrote, and began to read out loud. (Katie read out loud the letter I wrote to her, and then I read out loud the letter she wrote to me.) I can't really attest to Katie's feelings during this process, but when Katie was reading the letter I wrote to her, I felt as though she was reading about someone else. Someone that I didn't know. Isn't it crazy how easy it is to put aside our faults, mistakes, weaknesses, brokenness, and live our lives out of our pride? To live our lives making us look good instead of our Savior?!
After we finished reading the letters, we read response letters to each other. (Before the service, we read each others' letters and wrote responses to each other that we hadn't seen/read before. Sorry if that doesn't make any sense :-/) We encouraged each other. We loved each other. And we thanked each other for seeking God even when it's not easy.
This story's kindof long…but I love it so much so I couldn't leave out too much!
At the end of this night, we encouraged people to write letters to someone. Themselves, their parents, friends, whoever. And write about whatever they needed to. Don't hold back. Especially if God is speaking something to you. Never be ashamed of God's work in your life. Your life should never be about making you look good. Much easier said than done, I know.
This night brought about some really amazing conversations. Who knew that practicing living in brokenness and vulnerability actually worked! We had a difficult time figuring out what to do the next week, because, well, how were we supposed to follow up a night like that? Our team spent 2 hours meeting trying to plan a service. Nothing was working. Nothing seemed right. It was at this point we decided that we needed to pray more, because God was simply not the center of the conversation. We prayed as a team and decided to just let the Holy Spirit move however he was going to. We couldn't put any limits on him. Wow, we spent 2 hours planning only to plan nothing? Hah, awesome.
The next week, we sang some songs, sat in a circle and opened the floor to anyone who needed to share. I mean, woah. When the Holy Spirit moves, He really moves.
That night on the floor of the Hall of Fame room, something started. A revival started. God started moving in ways that I have never seen him move before. Our campus changed that night and became a community. Common Ground became a family.
Sometimes I have to calm myself down when I start talking about this because I get really excited and can rant in any direction. But I want to remind you of something.
You are not alone.
It's ok.
God will never walk away from you.
Be open.
Be honest.
Be broken.
Be vulnerable.
I know it's hard. It sucks, actually.
But remember, "He must increase, I must decrease."
"Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
More to come soon… 🙂
