Confession: One of my biggest struggles is selfishness. As an American especially, it is difficult for me to put other people before myself. I want to be comfortable, happy, and have a full belly 😉 But, I am called to give up my comfort if it means that someone else can be comfortable. The first half of this month in Thailand was very difficult for me to step out of my comfort level and actually love these girls. Going into Patong is scary and uncomfortable, but on January 26th I had a VISION. Okay, okay…the word “vision” has such a strange meaning to most people, as it did to me before I had one. Here’s what I wrote in my journal the day after God showed me this vision.

    


   “Last night as I lay down to go to sleep around 11:00pm, I had a vision from God. It was subtle, but clear. It was not a dream because it was immediately when I lay down. I saw a woman (most likely a Thai woman, but maybe a women member of my team). She was hanging from a tree. I was frightened because I wasn’t sure if she was dead, so I didn’t want to help here down out of the tree. As I stood there I noticed in the trees all around me, more Thai women with nooses around their necks in the trees surrounding the first woman. This is the first vision that I’ve had and I know it was meant to speak to at least me, but maybe my team or others feeling the same apathy I was feeling towards the women of Patong.  Immediately, I prayed for God to reveal to me what it meant and almost instantly I felt God answer my question. The Thai women were the women in the bars that were stuck in a place of spiritual death. They are “hung in the trees” and I’m too afraid to help them down just because it is scary! It opened my eyes to my selfishness. Of course now I need to “want” to help these women. God gave me more of a heart for them and a will to fight my own selfishness. Thank you Lord!”
 
 
  
      It still blows my mind how even though my relationship with Christ hasn’t changed its look from the outside very much, God is giving me more obvious ways of understanding Him. J It’s awesome! The next night we went to Patong and I had so much excitement to be there and concern for the girls! I feel like I was able to give more of an evident display of God’s love to them compared to the other few times we went and I was very apathetic. I pray that God keeps doing stuff like that in me, and want to encourage you to pray for Him to do that in your own life! Why would God not want to answer yes to a prayer asking Him to reveal Himself to you or me?? It’s just taken me a while to understand that He WANTS to show Himself to me. He WANTS to love me and He WANTS to love other people through me J I’m starting to realize that even though it’s difficult for me to actually “love” certain people, it’s not my love, it’s His love through me.

   This is when Paul is writing to the Thessalonians. These are upright people who seek to follow Christ in all that they do and believe in Him wholeheartedly…

“But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another.” 2 Thessalonians 4:9

I am Taught By God to love people!   I strive to accept that truth and to let God teach me to LOVE!