Lately my mind has been consumed with thoughts of attaining money… $16,267 to be exact. That huge number is what stands in the way of me being able to go to Asia for a year-long missions trip that will serve humanity and provide Christian discipleship. So, I have been thinking up all types of statistics of how I can reach my fundraising goal. For example, if I can get 55 people to give $50 per month for 6 months then I could be fully funded OR if maybe I can get 109 people to give $25 per month for 6 months and then I could be fully funded OR maybe I could host a successful fundraiser and that might put a big dent in the fundraising OR… the list goes on and on. However, all this thought about money and fundraising has been wearing me down and leading to discouragement and doubt. Thoughts like “What if I don’t meet my goal?” or “Can I REALLY do this?” began to plague my consciousness.
Then, during a worship service at church I thought “Why am I really doing this, what is the motivation?” Of course it would be cool to travel to 11 different Asian countries (who wouldn’t want to do that?), and yes it would be awesome to get to know a community of fellow believers who you eat with, pray with, strive with, fail with, worship with, succeed with, rejoice with, cry with, and live with. But that is not enough and these are not the primary reasons I want to go on this trip. The primary motivation is God. This trip is about growing closer to him, knowing him better, trusting him deeper, and coming to a place of real love for God, not just a strong reverence and respect for him. It is out of pursuing a deeper relationship with God that other great things may follow, such as being able to use my abilities to assist victims of human sex trafficking, restore existing infrastructure, help build new constructions, aid the homeless and the widows, help the orphans and the needy, and do whatever else I can in these places.
This examination of motivation then led to a shift in thinking. Instead of focusing on the need for the money to go, my focus should be on the Lord. Instead of striving and being anxious about the money, I should really just submit this opportunity to him and allow him to provide for the needs he knows I have and to lead my path in his time and in his way. What I really need to do is what the Bible instructs us in Matthew 6:33: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” So, if I set my eyes on the father and check that my heart and motivations are in the right place, and if I seek him first, then I am confident that the need will be met. In essence, I have learned that God is > the (fill in your need, want, desire here). In my present condition I know that God is > the $$$ and I believe as Philippians 4:19 says: that “God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”
