Cambodia part two…
This place has my heart…
As soon as the kids we teach see us coming down the stairs in the mornings they immediately just run up and want to give you a hug or hang on your legs and arms. The look in their eyes is something that I wish everyone had the opportunity to experience. It’s like the girls from the orphanage last month and the only way I know to describe it is…pure love. It seriously makes my heart melt every time they just look up and want to be spun around or they want to steal a glance from you to make sure you see what they’re doing.
Hmmm…someone who just craves our attention and the look in their eyes is…pure love.
Sounds familiar…
I’ve gotten the chance to wake up quite a few mornings while we are here and watch the sunrise and pray and worship. It’s been such an amazing time with God…it’s not always about getting as much sleep in as possible, I got to the point where I realized that God was well worth me getting up for in the morning to spend time with. Sometimes in life it’s not about making ourselves as comfortable as possible, it’s about sacrificing because our God is absolutely worth it and He blesses us like crazy when we start serving Him more from a heart of sacrifice than a heart of abundance.
I realized that when I give my time to God…I do it out of a place of abundance. If I have extra time and I’m not doing something else then sure I’ll give THAT time to God. When I tithe in church…I do it out of a place of abundance. If I have extra money after I pay for everything else…sure I’ll give God a little of it. I’m tired of talking about God and it being such an empty thing. God this…God that..I love God and it having NO passion or no emotion behind it. People who get annoyed with praying because it’s EMPTY. If people truly understood who God was then you wouldn’t be able to stop us from talking about Him, His love would just pour off of our tongues, we would constantly seek out time to be able to talk to Him in prayer, true love would drive us to crazy extremes to show the world about our God. I think about how people act whenever they first get into a relationship and that person is the first person you think about when you wake up and the last person you think about before you go to bed. You are constantly bringing them up in conversation and would do absolutely anything to spend more time with them.
This is the type of love that God has started to draw me into over the last few months and it has been so blessed and rewarding. When I use God’s name it’s not just words coming out of my mouth as much anymore. When I hear prayer it’s not just empty words that hit the ground. The words are now invoking emotions because there is a LOVE there. Not just loving God but being IN LOVE with God. I can sit before God and pray and experience His presence. I can see His hand in every aspect of my life, I can hear the words He is whispering to my heart, my soul is completely content when I’m on my face just listening to what my Father has to say to me. I feel the eyes of pure love just beaming down on me, I feel someone who craves my attention. And it’s not always about the feelings because sometimes they aren’t there but that’s when true love kicks in. Even if the “feelings” aren’t there…you just know. Even though I haven’t seen my parents in months and there have been weeks on end where internet was so sparse I couldn’t talk to them and have the “feelings” of their love…I KNEW they loved me…you just know.
I challenge everyone to get to that place because even though it can be uncomfortable, exhausting and at a constant place of “sacrifice” if you even want to call it that, it is the most fulfilled I’ve ever been in my life. If God is just a word for you and you throw it out without understanding Him then I challenge you to find Him. He’s looking…I can guarantee you that. Christianity isn’t a religion where you just have a reverence for God and keep Him on a pedestal and occasionally pray AT Him. Christianity is meant for relationship, He’s meant to be with you. When I talk about my parents and my friends I KNOW who I’m talking about and it invokes an emotion when I mention their names…does God?? I’m tired of the emptiness, it’s not how it was meant to be.
