I’ve always like words. I’ve always enjoyed journaling and writing detailed stories about my day. When I tell others stories I often drag on explaining every little detail that may, or may not, be important to what happened.
I also like saying the right thing. Putting words together so that they make sense, people understand, and I don’t get laughed at or made fun of. It’s important to say the right thing.
At the end of this week I will be speaking at a sort of girls conference-type thing at my church. Nothing particularly fancy just a night of fun for middle and high school age girls. I hadn’t even thought about what I was going to say until recently because I was so caught up with the end of classes. However now that classes are over I am still finding it difficult to sit down and come up with something to say.
I want my words to make sense, to sound right, and to give some kind of message to these girls who not too long ago I was exactly like. But what could I possibly say that would convey all of that? What could I possibly have to offer them? These are some of the same questions I had rolling through my mind when I was preparing to speak at my church about this trip. Truthfully I am terrified of public speaking and so I want to make as few mistakes as possible.
When I was writing that speech I would write 5 sentences and then erase 3, or I would scrap the entire thing and start over. It was probably over an hour before I had even written one word on the page because I was trying to come up with the “perfect sentence” in my head before writing it down. I didn’t want to mess it up, so it needed it to be the most perfect thing I had ever written. The talk I’m attempting to write right now is having the same sort of setbacks.
I was asked to be the speaker for this night for a reason and I don’t want to let anyone down and so I want my words to be perfect, not one out of place. Unfortunately this tactic is not getting me anywhere. I haven’t written a single word and if I continue thinking like this I probably won’t until I’m rushing at the very last minute to come up with something and then it most definitely will not be perfect. So what’s a girl to do?
Well in all the mad rush to finish classes and then come up with something clever and amazing to say Friday I managed to forget Who this whole night is actually about. I forgot what the entire point of this night was and why it was started by my mom and the other ladies in my church to begin with.This event was created to help young girls realize how much their Father loves them.
Just like He loves me. Even when I say things at the wrong time or struggle to find the right word He still loves me. I was chosen as the speaker for this event for a reason, not because I’m an amazing speaker or that I have all the right things to say. Not because I am a fantastic person who deserves this recognition. None of those things are the answer. The reason I was picked for this event is because my Father wants to use my fear of public speaking, my struggle to write the perfect words and failing miserably, and my wish to share some sort of message with these girls in order that His words would be spoken, not mine. So that He would be glorified, not me, so that these girls would understand how much He loves them.
I don’t need to say the right thing because my Father is the One who is the Perfect Writer and He will tell His Story.
