Yesterday winter storm Juno hit the town where I’m going to school. Classes were cancelled and there was really no need to venture outside into the cold. However, at one point I did. I decided I needed to walk downtown and get a cup of coffee. I made it to the coffee shop successfully. As I was walking back to my dorm it hit me like a ton of bricks: This is what I have been feeling.
On the short walk back to my dorm I truly couldn’t see anything. My building was invisible as the snow was falling fast and the wind was blowing it in all directions. I knew it was there I just couldn’t see it and the swirling snow made it rather difficult to walk in a straight line.
My thoughts have kind of felt like this the last few weeks. I am a planner, I like to know what’s coming. However I have no way of knowing what’s coming when it comes to the World Race. I have never done anything like this. And the fact that I don’t know terrifies me. Trying to organize all of my thoughts in regards to packing, fundraising, getting vaccines, meeting deadlines…. it all was starting to get pretty overwhelming. My thoughts felt like the storm. Swirling and battering me down making it difficult for me to discern which way to go.
It’s easy to say that when we follow God we don’t have to worry about having all the answers because He does. It’s easy to on a surface level believe that. It’s easy to say that I trust God to get me to the end destination. All of those things are easy to say and think, but they are oh so hard to heart and soul, completely believe. I honestly have struggled with believing some of these things and giving up my control is extremely difficult.
Last night as I walked blindly through a blizzard I think I began to understand that I don’t always need to know where I’m headed or what’s waiting for me, but I do need to know and remember that as long as I keep moving forward God will make a way for me to get where I’m going. And soon I’ll be able to see the lights shining through the snow.
