I have been back from Uganda for five days now and I feel like so much has happened in my life in the past month. There have been amazing and stretching things that I have walked through but the since being home, I feel as I have been in a weird funk but it was more than just adjusting back to being home… it is so much more. Let me rewind and explain about everything that has lead me here to this day.
This Uganda trip was not like any mission trip that I have been on before. First off, I haven’t seen a team become so much like family in such a short amount of time. Each one of them played an import role on the team and in our little Uganda family. We were all there for each other whether it was for prayer, encouragement, or laughter!! We did so much ministry on this trip from door to door community outreach, to kids ministry, to leading church services… we went from morning till night being God’s hands and feet! We poured out every day and were so exhausted and tired but strangely so filled up in the Lord. By the end of the trip we were all tapped out and were looking forward to sleeping on the plane. God personally stretched me by having me pray and prophesy over people more and even having me share on the mic at a church service. Stretching maybe hard but it is so good for you and there is so much growth. Even though we were a blessing to the people there and that’s what we wanted to do, God ended up using it to bless and love on us in many ways. I am so thankful to have got to go to Uganda for the second time! A piece of my heart is in that country
Coming home is always rough. You miss where you were, the people there and the people you were on the mission trip with and at the same time you miss the people here at home and they missed you and want to talk to you and love on you! 🙂 All the while, a ten-hour time difference makes you extremely jetlagged, which is not fun to say the least!!
The night I came back, I checked my account for The World Race to see if I had any donations. I was saddened to see that the only thing in my account was the money I put for the deposit. I began talking to God about this cause my heart sank and I became scared and nervous cause my first deadline of $3,500 is going to be due in less than a month. God proceed again tell my stubborn self that He has me and not to worry but I am human and stubborn… I did try my best to just let it be and keep praying. I knew deep down inside behind all the fear, hard time trusting, and stubbornness that the Lord would be faithful!! And He yet again came through on this crazy, wonderful journey that I am on.
The next day, a friend of mine came by house to what I thought had been just to pick up some stuff… little did I know what God was doing through this person. Right before they left, I was handed an envelope that had a smiley face on it. I was confused about what it was partly cause of jet lag and partly cause I had no idea what or why I was given it. After my friend left, I walked to my room, sat on my bed, and read the letter that was inside. Tears began to flow from my eyes and there was no stopping them! I was so utterly touched by the encouragement and words in the letter but nothing prepared me for what happened next. While reading this letter out came a check that I had to take a double look at cause I didn’t believe it with my eyes… the check was for my entire first payment for the World Race!!!! I was literally weeping and in complete shock!!! I had no words about how God proved Himself faithful in such a HUGE way but that this person that I am so blessed and thankful to call my friend would be sooo generous to little ol’ me!! Even now as I am writing about that day, I am still brought to tears about how extremely blessed and loved I am by the Lord and people around me!!!
In that moment of receiving that check, the World Race became very real!! I now have to get all my gear, buy plane tickets to Georgia for training camp, finishing raising the money for my trip, get so many more shots and pills but also finish strong at my jobs here and making the most of the this summer before I leave. In fewer words, I became overwhelmed!!
While being home the past couple of days, I have celebrated two of my family members birthdays which I love being there for them and blessing them on their special days but my sisters and dads birthdays were bittersweet for me cause I knew that this time next year I wouldn’t be able to hug them, bless them, and celebrate all that they are! I did my best to soak in each moment of their days and make memories that will last forever or at least until I am back celebrating with them on their birthdays! 🙂
All while this was going on, I was still adjusting to being back home from Uganda and also being back to work and my life here. I was glad to be back at work, to a job that I love and people I love working with! Just like I never pictured going on the World Race, I never pictured me serving in ministry in such a full time way or even working at a church. But the Baby Place (Nursery) ministry has been my life, my heart, and my passion for almost five years!! It is hard to be back and to know that with each day it will be closer to my last! And that one day very soon someone else will be doing the job that I love, my baby, and a piece of my heart! Needless to say, I have done my fair share of crying!!
On top of all that, my body isn’t transitioning well back to being in America and I have this weird thing on my arm that I don’t know what it is (seriously I seem to have weird things happen to my body, not fun!) I just felt like everything was coming at me all at once and I was feeling EVERY emotion with it!! I began to feel like I was in a funk! I, all of a sudden, was fighting fear of the unknown, the fear of leaving behind so many great things, and missing out on different adventures and possibilities here at home.
So yesterday, I spent a lot of my day listening to worship music and talking to the Lord as I worked and went about my day because I was confused and scared about so many different things. I asked God to help me understand, to make things clear, and for me to trust Him yet again. I began to separate all the feelings and remember all of what God has done and said to me in the past months and peace slowly started coming back! But I am realizing that just like with love, TRUST is a choice!! God has shown me over and over again that the World Race is where He wants me to be but I am still having a hard time believing that and trusting that He REALLY, TRULY HAS ME!!! I know it is cause I am stubborn and have some issues trusting but I am going to face my fears head on each day as I prepare for this adventure and while I am on it!!
I am so very thankful for each and every one of the amazing and wonderful people that I have in my life that are praying for me, supporting me and even the people wanting to support me! It means so much that people are supporting me and thinking about supporting me. God WILL provide for each and every one of my needs! I know this and that I am a unique, special woman of Faith and I will choose to trust even as I continue to adjust and embark on the journey!! THE LORD HAS ME!!!!! 🙂 #faithoverfear
~Felisha
