I am writing this blog not because I want to but because I have too. Today I am going to tell you a bit of my past that is ugly and broken. It is painful to share and not very appeasing so just bare with me. I write this story not to shame the person but to shame the devil because he is worthless and I am through with him.
Part 2
….“My dad was always know as the “bad guy”. As soon as my grandmother could get the chance she would run to the phone and call my dad to help. I can remember night after night after night of my dad grabbing his gun and going off to my grandmothers house. I was afraid that something bad might actually happen….” Little did I know at the time but my dad was the perfect representation of Christ. He was always there to love, help, protect, rescue, and provide. Thats just how Christ has always done for us. My dad is a hero to me and to most of my family. He has always provided and protected us. It gave me hope and encouraged me to keep being persistent in serving my Crazy Uncle.
One day I finally manage to gain some reward. I killed my first deer. I was in 6th grade and killed a 10 point. I was hot stuff and it even made it to the paper. (oh southern life) I was so proud and took a small photo album everywhere I went. Christmas was coming around the corner and so it was time for another family gathering. This time my Crazy Uncle was so proud of me he asked me for one of my pictures. I gave him one and he kept it in his wallet for years. Little did I know he would show it to everyone. The older I became the more uncomfortable I was by it. He always tried to touch me and hug me but I again had an amazing father that showed Christ’s love and protection over me.
As the years went by the more my Crazy Uncle got deeper involved with drugs and alcohol. He went in and out of jails hundreds of times and the police were tired of him. We had restraining order after restraining order to keep him from my grandmother but it never ceased for him to find ways around it. As time grow so did my hatred and I was so mad at him. As I grew older I found even more ugly truths about him. He had hurt several people in my family in many ways. As the time rolled around it was time for me to move off to college. I was so excited to be so far away from him but I also had a little fear that he would just be crazy enough to come find me. Thankfully he never did and I was always safe as could be. Yet I was constantly reminded of him by the massive amounts of alcohol and drugs that rage on college campuses.
When I started the Race I thought I was done dealing with the pain in my heart, only to learn it was going to be pulled out of me even more. Alcohol and drugs are not only in America…duh faith. When I heard “hate the sin not the sinner” I didn’t know how hard that would actually be. A few weeks ago I was standing at the local bus stop in town waiting to ride a bus home. While standing in line I was approached by a man. Although this is constantly happening this time was different. It wasn’t the normal “hello I love you, will you marry me” type approaches. The alcohol was pungent and nauseating. He was very aggressive and demanded my attention. As the crowds stood around and laughed I felt hopeless. He didn’t just say he loved me, he said he would pay for me, he would buy me, he would do anything for me, and that he wanted me right then and there. He grabbed me and I had to just keep moving so he wouldn’t touch me anymore. My teammates were great and did everything they could to protect me. I was so angry and all I could think about was my Crazy Uncle. As soon as the bus came I ran to it and just prayed to get home safely.
I was so mad and so upset. I cried out to God and begged him for answers. I called my mom and boyfriend and they both prayed for me. Except they didn’t just stop with praying for me, they prayed for that man, and they prayed for my Crazy Uncle. Then it finally hit me, God’s grace doesn’t just stop with me. That is when I realized I want him DEAD. The devil that is. I want him DEAD. He has no more power over me. He can not shake my soul anymore. My Heavenly Father is protecting me, he has already won the battle. I don’t hate my Crazy Uncle, I hate what the devil has done to him. Its not fair and it makes me mad. The devil hasn’t just done this to my Crazy Uncle, we all have a Crazy Uncle or friend out there. Its not okay and I will not put up with it any longer. I am sick and tired of this creature trying to steal our freedom. He is no longer allowed to reign over me. My God is bigger than that and I’m giving him all the control. So here and now I am saying to you devil “go back to hell and stay there!!!!!! You are not welcome here! You are dead to me.”
Today I continue to pray for my Crazy Uncle and I pray for all the Crazy’s out there that have been trapped by the devils tricks. I will no longer allow this anger to go anywhere but straight to hell where it belongs.
To those of you who are impacted by the Crazy’s I lift you up and want you to know your not alone because OUR GOD REIGNS. Don’t lose hope, freedom is coming.
To my Crazy Uncle, I love you and so does our Heavenly Father. He adores you and wants you to come running to his arms. Your sins aren’t to heavy for Him to carry. He still calls you worthy. Come delight in Him today.
