Every girl dreams of her future, of her Romeo, of this perfect image of a wedding. Often times a dress, a color, a ring, a setting, and a time already planned without a boy even met. We constantly fill our minds with a fair-tale love. However I am writing to crush that dream. And by crush I mean break that dream down completely. You see I am here to tell you it doesn't have to be a dream. There is already someone out there pursuing you with no remorse. He says you are beautiful. He says I choose you. He says you are worthy. He says I will never leave your side. He says you are my beloved. He says I love you with all your brokenness and wounds. He says he wants YOU. He begins to quietly slip these words into your thoughts. This is our heavenly father.
However, a battle begins to be played. There is this man constantly trying to wreck you. Trying to say these desires are fake. Telling you that this love only can be seen through human kind. A man set to kill, steal, and destroy your joy. I write to tell you in hopes that you will not fall into this vicious trap.
A few years ago I made a promise that I would save my purity for marriage. I wore a ring that said "I will wait for my beloved". So the search for a man to fulfill this empty space began. Although I didn't break this purity promise, I lost a lot more. I saved myself from the love the father had for me. I began to believe that the love I was searching for was out there in human form. No one compared to Jesus and so I quickly lost hope. I searched for him everywhere but I was always disappointed. I let the enemy fill my heart with lies. I heard I was not good enough, that I had messed up too much, that I was not worthy to be loved. I lost something more than just an image built in my head. I waited and waited and waited and waited. I finally began to pray the Lord had something greater in store for me. To my surprise he completely broke my heart. He took away my dreams, he crushed them. He wiped of the pieces and created something even more beautiful. He filled my heart with him. I soon began to be pursued but it was different this time, I actually let him pursue me. I let him steal my heart and make it new.
The wait was over. I no longer needed to wait for my beloved. I already had him! He is mine forever. About a year ago I took my ring off and replaced it with an infinity love ring. Everyday I look down and I am reminded of the love he so graciously pours out on me. Today I no longer dream of walking down the aisle, but now running into my heavenly fathers arms. In him I am completely and totally satisfied.
