Oh how this journey across Eastern Europe has been absolutely nothing like I imagined. I am half way completed with this journey now, and let me tell you this trip has taken me on a rollercoaster of emotions. I have felt full of joy, and I have felt depressed. I have felt loved, and I have felt lonely. I have felt expectant, and I have been disappointed. I have felt excited, and I have felt nostalgic. There are constant highs and lows, miscommunications, and random experiences. Thankfully this week has been one full of praises and rejoicing though, I am on the high part of the roller coaster.
I got to color and spend time with six little orphans this morning. The children, even though they are feisty 2-4year olds, still managed to steal my heart more with every minute I get to spend with them. Today made all the doubt, fear, and struggles worth it.
I am getting ahead of myself though, what have I even done while I have been here?!
I spent a lovely five days in Novi Sad, Serbia at the start of my journey. I got to help Novi Sad Christian Fellowship with there Royal Rangers camp while I was there, and catch up with many dear friends I made in 2015. I then traveled to the HUB school in Opovo, which is just outside of Belgrade, Serbia. I got to spend four days learning about God’s word, making new friends, and spending quality time with an old friend.
Traveling to Macedonia form Serbia was pretty simple, the bus ride was only 7hours or so. I arrived in Skopje, Macedonia and got to spend two nights with a friend I met on the Race, and got to celebrate her birthday with her! Meeting her family and seeing the capitol city covered in snow was very special. I then traveled to Bitola, it is only 3.5 hours from Skopje by bus.
I have been here in Bitola for three weeks now. When I arrived here it was so great to catch up with friends and to see the town that I love so much again. Although, shortly into my stay here I started getting met with the many closed doors. I thought I was going to be able to start working at the orphanage immediately upon my arrival, but alas that didn’t happen until today three weeks later. I also thought I was going to be able to find a fountain of ministries and organizations focused on helping the vulnerable children of Macedonia, but again no matter my efforts it just seemed that there was nothing here.
I waited, I jumped through hoops, I searched, and I still came up empty. I remember one day last week specifically: I was sitting in my room on the third floor of the church, and I was just crying out to God in tears. I asked Him many questions about being here, what I was supposed to be doing, what He was trying to teach me. I got to the point where I knew with no doubt in my mind that if He didn’t want me here, if He didn’t start opening doors, if He didn’t do anything – I couldn’t be called here.
Yes, I still had Macedonia on my heart but the realization that there was no way I could do this without Him hit me in the face as hard as a cement block. After getting to that breaking point and surrendering all my pride, hopes, and ideas to Him – then the door opened like a floodgate. I was met with connections, organizations, knowledge, and opportunities!
I spent two weeks searching out of my own power, in the way that I thought I should, in the places I thought I should look. Then, when I felt like giving up, and finally just surrendered and told God He had to move or nothing was going to happen – that’s when out of nowhere connections were made. I had to place it all back into His hands, and stop pretending like I had the strength to carry it on my own.
I thought I had already learned how to surrender and to trust God – but He continues to show me how much of a daily discipline it is. Even if what I am not surrendering is full of good intentions, it can still become an idol. Even if I think God has equipped me, running ahead and doing things out of my own pride can’t last long. Over this trip already He has definitely humbled me and taught me a lot.
I only have 12days left here in Bitola before I head to Albania, and then onto Greece. I can’t believe how quickly my time is going here. I am grateful that I actually feel like I have had a successful trip though, all thanks to Him. I now just get to enjoy the time I have here to serve, love and be loved, grow, and to experience the culture.
Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.”
