Right now I am sitting in my boyfriends car road tripping to Colorado from California. A year ago I was in Pretoria, South Africa and he was in Kathmandu, Nepal. This year is ending so much differently than last year did.
1.) I am in America
2.) I am in a relationship
and 3.) I am not with my World Race squad.
Thankfully, my travel bug heart is still being satisfied with the road trip and the thought of leaving to go back to Eastern Europe in 10days.
This year was similar to last year in the sense that I was still challenged in so many ways. I was forced to grow even more, urged to continue pressing on, moved to grieve again, and strengthened in many different areas of my life.
At the beginning of the year I was still on the Race. Debriefing in South Africa, and then headed to Zimbabwe. I’d spent my birthday with my team and host family, happy to get protein that day – and by the end of the month I was checking off my number one bucket list item which was going to Victoria Falls.
By February I was in a small village in Lesotho. 20 other racers and I were living in community together this month. It was cold at night, and hot during the day. We braved a flood in the church and a huge sand storm. It was uncomfortable, but by this point that was expected.
By March I was done with community living, done sharing my space and sanity, and done being uncomfortable. I hung up my hammock for the fourth month in a row, and accepted the amount of bug bites that started accumulating on my body. This was my fourth all squad experience, and I was in the very hot Phillipines. Except the redemption of this month was the Lord literally shutting me up. I took a vow of silence after He took my voice, and He finally answered my months of prayer about returning to Macedonia. I’ll never forget the intimacy I felt with the Lord this month, or the covenant I made with Him.
By April I was in Malaysia and I got refilled. We spent many precious hours in the Penang House of Prayer where the Lord met with me. He helped me share vulnerably and choose influence over comfort. Here is where I became completely transparent and even more growth and trust formed.
By May my heart was broken by the death of my grandfather, and I started to grieve, again.. Although, my mother was thankfully with me in Thailand at this point. Her presence forced me to come face to face with my old self and the new self I desperately wanted to continue being. I had to choose to step out of my old pattern of shoving my feelings and press forward into my vulnerability and growth.
By June the pain continued. Spiritual attacks were rampant in Cambodia, and more grief attacked my family. This was my hardest month on the Race, but also another month where I felt a heightened intimacy with the Lord.
By July the Race was ending. I didn’t want to return home, so I started to grieve the end of this chapter of my life. In Vietnam I got a wonderful month of rest and processing though, and the Lord definitely blessed my team and I with comfort.
Then the Race ended. I was home, and the growth continued. I fell in and out of depression as I tried to adjust back to a “normal” life. I moved back in with my Grandma – my sister replacing the third person in the house that my Grandpa used to be. I was thankful for the familiarity of this home, but still grieving the differences without my Grandpa being here. Yet, because of my sisters presence I was still blessed with the ability and freedom to continue to travel – just within America this time.
By the end of October I started dating this wonderful guy. We started really talking at our final debrief in Georgia in August. Yet, I feel like I have know him for a lifetime already. Since October we’ve been traveling back and forth to see one another. Long distance relationships are hard, but at the same time it has been really great and more than worth the challenges.
We even got to spend both holidays with one another. He came out to Colorado for Thanksgiving and I went to California for Christmas. I already know that being away from him for the two months I will be in Europe is going to be difficult. Yet, he has already given me a letter for each day I’ll be gone, so I do have something special to look forward to.
This year just like last, was full of the unexpected, but through those challenges I was forced to grow, urged to press on, moved to grieve, and strengthened. I continued to learn what it meant to depend on God, to be comforted when you are mourning, and to be the light when you can’t find it.
Last year I said that I looked forward to continuing in growth. To completely relying on Him, and leaning into His plans for my life. I chose to accept whatever ways He moved, even if that forced discomfort. I wanted to choose Him this year, over myself – and I’m happy to say that I did. I feel like I have been so blessed this year because of it.
I can’t wait to see the excitement and adventures that this next year brings!
Just an update on my current fundraising, I am 50% raised! I need $1000 for my trip in 10days, and have plenty of room on my prayer team. Let me know if you feel led to partner with me in prayer or financially.
Checks can be mailed to: 466a Park County Road 72, Bailey, Co, 80421 and addressed to me personally.
Donations can also be made online through PayPal.com, just send it to my email [email protected]
