I’ve tried to write so many different blogs this last week… The Race is coming to an end, I need to post a blog summarizing my year – right?
Well… I can’t.
I can’t find 11photos depicting each month I went to – because those pictures won’t tell the whole story.
I can’t pick just one highlight for each month – because there has been so many.
I can’t pick just one thing I learned each month – because God has been using this experience and community to mold me.
I can’t pick one thing the Lord revealed to me, or grew me in each month – because He is so vast, and His plans, revelations, and growth that He has done in me can’t be easily summarized into a word or two.
This last year has been incredible, challenging, unimaginable, crazy, unexpected, and a whirlwind of emotions.
I can’t even find the right words to describe it, let alone summarize the whole experience into one blog.
What I can share with you is this – it’s over. This part of my life, this appetizer of the missionary lifestyle, this traveling adventure…
It’s all over, yet it’s only the beginning.
As I look ahead into my future, into this next season – I can honestly smile now knowing that if the Lord would choose me to complete a journey such as this… If the Lord would bring me through the challenges, the celebrations, and all the mucky middle – how great is my future going to be?
I know that completing the Race was in the Lord’s will for my life. I know that He is preparing me for His plans that lie ahead…. And y’all, for Him to need to grow me, and use me, and completely change me in the ways He has – I am looking forward to His plan for my future because it is going to be amazing!
I never imagined I could be who I am today.
I never imagined I would want to be a long term missionary so badly that the thought of returning to America could pain me.
I never thought that I would throughly enjoy being uncomfortable.
I never thought I would turn into an adrenaline junky.
I never thought that I would want to sell everything I own and become a minimalist – knowing the truth and freedom in not having many belongings and just depending on the Lord.
I never thought I could, should, or would’ve… But thankfully He did. And that’s why I am finally okay and even excited that I am coming back to America.
I don’t know what the Lord is going to challenge me in when I am there – but I am excited to see where it leads.
I don’t (completely) know His plans for this next season of my life – yet I finally have the freedom in knowing that I don’t even need to.
He is trustworthy, and I completely trust putting my life into His hands. All I need to do is keep my gaze on the Lord.
I don’t need to have it all figured out. I don’t need to plan my steps immediately following my return home. I don’t need to worry about a job, school, missions, church, friends, family, etc.
I just need to keep my gaze on Him, put Him first, listen, and continue trusting in Him while walking in obedience.
That’s it.
How much freedom is in that realization?
Y’all – He’s got me in His hands. He knows what He is preparing me for, and I am so excited to watch it unfold.
I feel like I just climbed to the top of a great mountain… I made it to the top of the Race, I see the glory, the beauty, and the amazing view from the top. Yet what God is showing me – is that there are so many more views He has in store for me. He is waiting on the top of this mountain for me, standing in front of a helicopter reaching His hand out for me.
Right now I have the choice… Head down the trail I know – or step forward in Faith. I can choose to trust that He knows where He is taking me, and trust that the view from the helicopter is better than the one that is surrounding me – even though it looks so spectacular from the ground.
I have the choice to continue to surrender my life into His hands, to continue listening to Him daily, to let Him lead me… Or, to fall back into my old ways as I slide down the mountain, to fall back into comfort, and the security of plans and materialism.
I choose faith.
I choose trust.
I choose surrender.
I choose keeping my gaze on the Lord, even if I want to look down at my feet to make sure I don’t stumble – I won’t. Even though I want to put my life and security in my own hands – I won’t. I will step forward, eyes locked onto my King, surrendering my life to Him – releasing all of my plans into His hands..
I choose to step forward into the helicopter (in faith), and let Him take the lead no matter the outcome.
I hope you are ready for the journey He has ahead of me… Now that I’ve figured out what this blog platform can be used for – yall I ain’t stopping.
