Happy Thanksgiving! It is hard to believe that the holidays are already approaching. It is my first year being out of school for the holidays (ever!), so since I wasn’t counting down the days until Thanksgiving break, thanksgiving itself actually snuck up on me. It is also my first year celebrating without my family, which is a strange feeling. I am thankful I have a family to miss though, and that I know they support me on this journey. I am also thankful that you are reading this blog! So, I’ll get to the juicy details…
Friday:
Today is the day… The day my team gets to go to the orphanage, gets to serve where my heart is serving, without me…
I woke up like it was a normal day of ministry, alarm set for 7:15am. I told myself I am going to get up, get ready, and do my morning podcast like normal. I am not going to let the devil keep me down. I am going to continue in my normal routine. Even though I’d rather lay in my bed and sleep through the moment my team walks out, leaving me behind – I am going to be downstairs ready and prepared for ministry.
And that is what I did! My podcast was supposed to be about going deeper with Christ, or so I thought (podcast: deep calls unto deep by Bethel), but instead the preacher talked about how breakthrough comes through brokenness.
He goes on to say that we are to give praise in the middle of trepidation. Speak about God’s goodness – and that brings blessings. And what the devil was trying to use to destroy us, will actually bring us refreshment.
Don’t miss the opportunity to use that which was meant for evil, grab onto it because WE KNOW that God is faithful!
After listening to that podcast, I was lifted in my spirits enough to go downstairs. As I entered the vacinity of my team and my hosts – multiple people asked me how I was… Knowing my heartbreak… Seeing the tears the days before. But, I could honestly answer them “I am okay, I listened to a great podcast already this morning”. As they walked out the door, giving me the eyes of apology… I felt fine. I was actually feeling pretty powerful.
I sat down at the kitchen table to eat breakfast, put on some worship music and laughed as “I will praise you in the storm” by Casting Crowns came on. The next song that played was “how great is our God” by Chris Tomlin. That was the moment I was ready to fight. I knew that the devil was trying to keep me down. He was trying to feed me lies, and trying to work against me.
Not this girl! I am praising my God. I will praise Him when everything is going right, and I will praise Him when things aren’t going my way. Because He is still worthy of my praise no matter how I am feeling, no matter what circumstance I am in – He is still my God, and what He has done for me has not changed!
In that moment I was so powered up I decided I would learn how to play the worship song “How Great is Our God” on the guitar.
Side note – since I have been in Macedonia I have been really feeling as though God wants me to learn the guitar, to be able to praise Him in that way. So, I have really been feeling a spiritual leading towards practicing the guitar, and have been practicing it since being here.
So, passionately I strummed the chords (not so beautifully) while trying to learn the song on the guitar – yet, even though it wasn’t beautiful, and even though I couldn’t get the whole song down in that one sitting… It was war, between me and the devil – and I won.
After being immersed into my war training for an hour and a half (guitar) – I realized I should go talk with my teammate who also had to stay home due to sickness. I went upstairs and checked on her, told her my response to the situation – and she opened my eyes to something that I am convinced is WHY The Lord allowed me to stay home from the orphanage.
Anna opened my eyes to what she learned is “Spiritual Warship”, which is literally fighting with Praise and Worship! She had done a bible study with some friends, and they had discussed it. She sent me a chapter of her friends book – and together we read 2 Chronicles 20:1-30. The verse that stuck out most to me was:
2 Chronicles 20:22 “as they began to sing and praise, The Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated”.
I was overjoyed that my natural response to these feelings of spiritual attack, had been to praise The Lord. I was also excited that this was biblical, and now I had resources to learn more about it, and press into this even more!
Yes, I am still disappointed… Yes, I still strongly desire to be at that orphanage with those kids – but God knows. He knows the plans He has for me, and He is turning bad into good right in front of my eyes.
The Lord kept me home, so that I would fight for Him. He is preparing me.
God I am here, and I am willing. I am putting on my armor, and I am worshipping you!
Psalm 100 “Shout for Joy to The Lord, all the earth. Worship The Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Know that The Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For The Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations.”
I pray that if you aren’t feeling full of thanksgiving today, that you can still praise our creator. That even in the midst of turmoil, you can SEE His greatness, and FEEL His love. I pray that those of you who are missing someone today are comforted by the Spirit, the Comforter. I pray blessings on all of you today, and am so thankful for each and every one of you.
To continue reading, please go to Part Four – Rewards of Trust
