God has a funny way of teaching us lessons. Sometimes it’s hard to tell exactly what He’s trying to teach us, especially when the lesson hurts. But the lessons that hurt you the most are the lessons you really need to learn.
While in Malaysia, God was teaching me a lot about dealing with my insecurities, and finding my identity in Him. My last blog was all about that. For some reason on the race we start believing that God is gonna teach us something different every month. As if God had an 11 step program for becoming a better person. So when I dealt with those identity issues in Malaysia, I thought “Sweet! Lesson learned! Onto the next one!” But that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. He’s always working in us gradually, not in steps. We just usually fail to see the bigger picture. God was about to put my trust in Him to the test, and see if I really found my identity in Him.
In Vietnam God took away my guitar. It was a beautiful Fender acoustic given to me by my father. I wrote a lot of my songs on that guitar. It really meant a lot to me. The case it was in was from one of the first guitars I ever had. Inside the case, along with my guitar, was my bible (a gift from my team leader Joe De Leon), my journal (which I got at the World Race training camp), and all of my recording equipment (some of which I’ve had for years, and some of which was donated to me by friends at YWAM Boston). All of that stuff had a lot of sentimental value to me, and I just left it on a Vietnamese Taxi.
I love coffee. I’ve been drinking it most of my life, since I was pretty a young kid. So one day while I was making coffee in my beloved french press (which I got from one of my best friends, Zac). I walked out of the bathroom where I was making the coffee, and I hear SMASH. The press had fallen to the floor and was shattered all over the bathroom. Coffee grounds and glass everywhere.
I grew my hair out for 3 years so I could get dreads. I had them for a whole year, and one day I found my head was a little itchier than usual. That day I pulled 5 bugs out of my hair, and found out my hair was infested with lice. Like more lice than anyone would ever want to see on one head. So I had to shave them off. I must’ve combed out hundreds of them.
One day off I gave my dirty laundry to the hostel owners, and went to hang out in my room. While I was sitting in my room, I was trying to connect my external hard drive to my computer, which had stopped connecting a few days before (and hasn’t since). Then I reached for my iPhone (given to me before the race by my teammate Sarette Stahnke) to check for messages, and realized that it was in my pants…which were in the washer. I ran down and pulled my wallet and iPhone out of the pockets of my half washed pants. My wallet, soaked. My phone, a brick.
It just kept on happening. I didn’t get it. I didn’t get what God was doing. Every time I lost one of these things, I got reeeally close to freaking out. The old me would have lost it, and left quite a few holes in the walls of our hostel. And I’ll admit, some of those times my attitude was really crappy afterwards. When I lost my guitar I was pissed that whole night and the day after. I was so mad. And it was all my fault. I just wanted to punch life in the face.
My team was really supportive, and helped me get through it all. Slowly I started accepting it when stuff like that happened. I changed my attitude and started thinking “You know what? God is teaching me something through this.Yeah I love playing guitar, and I love having coffee in the morning, and I miss my phone, but NONE of that affects the kingdom, the mission I’m on, and what God is doing in this place. I just have to focus on learning the lessons He’s trying to teach me.” I started to keep my cool in the hard situations. When everything started getting bad, and I was about to freak out, I took a deep breath, and made a choice. I could choose to lose it and punch a big hole in the wall, and that might feel good for about 3 seconds, or I could choose to get over it and accept that whatever I lost is lost. Philippians 2:14 I learned to not grumble, and to keep my cool when life was overwhelming. Half way up the wall with no rope.
Another thing I realized was that everything I lost, was just stuff. A bunch of versatile solutions to modern living? Yeah sure. But none of it made me who I am. None of that stuff defines me. I spent the month prior learning to find my identity in God, and not in anything or anyone else. This is that lesson being put to the test. I’m not defined by the things I own, or the things I do. I’m defined by what God says about me, and that’s where I find my identity. It’s what Paul talks about in Philippians 3:8 when he says “I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.” None of that stuff matters in the slightest when compared to the gift knowing Christ, and having Him in my life. Instead of what He’s taking away, I need to focus on everything He’s giving me.
So what do you hold onto in life to find your identity in? What is it that you own that you think defines you? I can tell you right now that you are not your job, or the contents of your wallet, or your house, or the car you drive, or any of your possessions. All those things are fleeting and will be lost eventually. I challenge you to live for what is eternal, not all the crap we can accumulate here on earth. Jesus said it best when He said “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19-21) All that stuff just weighs us down, and keeps us from living a life that’s like what Paul talked about. In Philippians 1:21 Paul says that “to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” So there’s no point in saving up riches for our little life on earth, if we have nothing for eternity. It’s only after we’ve lost everything, that we’re free to do anything.
I am currently about $1500 away from my final fundraising deadline for the World Race!!!! Praise GOD!!! I want to thank everyone who’s helped me stay on this race for their support whether it be emotional, spiritual, or financial. You are all awesome! If you would like to help me out and keep me on this trip, please press the “Support Me” button up at the top left there.
you see it it?
its like ^^^up there and <<< that way
thanks again! Love you all!
-Evan
