It’s been about a week and a half since Ethan and I made the journey from Gainesville, Georgia back to our apartment in Denver. Since then, I have been thinking about what to say in this blog post, but summing up training camp in a few words on a page seems like an insurmountable feat. I’m going to try my best though 🙂
Going into World Race Training Camp I didn’t think that God had very much to teach me. In the months leading up to training camp I had walked through some difficult stuff. Through a series of events, God had shown me a clear view of the depth of my sinfulness. I don’t know if you’ve ever taken an honest look at the chasm separating you from God, but when you truly contrast your own sinfulness with the holiness of God one of two things can happen. You can see that chasm, know that it’s far too big and deep to cross, and fall into despair. Or, you can see that chasm, know that it’s far too big and deep to cross on your own, and fall into the arms of your Savior who already paid the price for you to cross.
I chose to do the latter. I chose to hold onto and own that fact that I am know, seen, and loved by the God of the universe. God is pleased with me because He is pleased with Jesus, and I am washed in His blood. Can I get an amen?!
All this to say, I walked into training camp knowing and believing this truth. I knew my identity, and that was a beloved daughter of the King. One of the awesome things about God though, is that He never stops pushing and growing you to become more like Him.
About halfway through training camp, while the men were all off on their 18 mile man hike, the women got the opportunity to talk about shame. Now who doesn’t love that?! Always makes for a good time. Not really though. It’s awful and uncomfortable and scary. I chose to embrace it though. Training camp was all about living in the uncomfortable. Really settling into it.
So I sat down outside the training center with my journal in hand and asked the Lord to reveal any hidden shame in my life. It didn’t take long. I glanced over at the dining tent where we had our meals ever day and noticed all the long tables. I thought about all the people at training camp and I thought about all the conversations I had already had. I knew what my shame was.
I carried shame that I am not enough for people. I don’t have enough interesting things to say or I’m not funny enough. I don’t have a ton of friends because I am not enough. I am not enough for people to want to invest their time and their lives into. No one is going to stick around. No one is going to bother getting to know me.
I tried to look back at this shame and figure out where it came from. There were some broken friendships and hard things that happened growing up, but the truth of the matter is that this shame came from the enemy himself, and he wanted me to continue living in it.
I DON’T HAVE TO LIVE IN IT THOUGH!!
John 8:36 says, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
How good is that?! Jesus Christ has set me free from all of my shame. I do not live in that anymore. I will not live in it. I am enough!
Jesus Christ has set me free, and I now I get the incredible opportunity to travel around the world with my awesome husband and 34 other amazing people and proclaim this truth across the nations! God is so good guys! He is so good!
Yes training camp was difficult. Sleeping in a tent/on concrete without a sleeping pad/on a tarp in the woods/wherever else we might find ourselves sleeping in the next 11 months was not the most fun. Bucket showers were the worst. Intense/real community was uncomfortable at times. But God is good and He has set me free and I have to tell people that. God has called me to tell people that.
After training camp I am beyond excited for these next 11 months! God is real and He is moving and I am so blessed that I get to witness His power in incredible ways that I never have before. It’s going to be a crazy year and I cannot wait to get started!
UPDATE
Ethan and I are 55% funded! Woohoo! We are $1641 away from our $20,000 goal that we need to have in our account by December 18th and $14,765 away from being fully funded!
We would love to be fully funded before we leave the USA in January!
[Side Note: Visa applications for Mozambique have been completed and will be submitted this month! We are scheduled to arrive in country on January 10th! This is getting SO REAL!]
Thank you so much to those of you who have already chosen to support us in this life changing journey.
If you are able to financially partner with us in ANY capacity
[Seriously. Anything.]
please click the “Support Me” link at the top of the page.
Thanks so much!!
