I have been learning a lot about God’s faithfulness. When I was in South America, specifically Bolivia, the Lord started laying worship on my heart.
Ten years ago when I was on a year long mission trip I learned to play a couple worship songs on the guitar. I played a little in college, but haven’t played in at least five years.
One night during Peru debrief we had artistic worship session where anyone could share in their style of worship. Some people wrote poems, one of my good friends Lauren Leabhart actually wrote a worship song (she has continued to do this for each continent we’ve traveled to), some shared pictures, and others shared about what the Lord was doing in their life.
I decided to play the guitar and sing an old song called “Satisfied.” I wanted to share this song because Jesus is sometimes the last person I go to to to fulfill my soul. It’s usually after I’ve proven that nothing else will satisfy that I find myself giving him a shot at doing what He is meant to do, be my savior.
It was after that night I started to feel a desire to actually help lead worship. In Bolivia, the following month I began journaling my prayer for opportunity to lead worship. I didn’t want to ask anyone for the opportunity because I wanted to see if this was something God was really wanting for me. So, I said, “God, I pray for the opportunity to help lead worship. I don’t want to ask for it, and I need a guitar too.” I left it at that and continued to pray for it every single day while in Bolivia. I didn’t receive an opportunity that month or the next one. The first opportunity that presented itself was my Grandma’s funeral, not my idea of leading worship, but I was asked so I said yes. I led everyone in a hymn, acapella, no guitar.
Three months after my prayer I found out my dad was going to come see me along with a bunch of other racer’s parents for a parent vision trip (pvt) the following month. My friend Holli who works with AIM helped organize our trip asked me if I’d like to lead worship. I gave an instant “Yes!”
Before the parent vision trip my squad met up in Swaziland for a mini debrief. I had just set up my tent outside the hostel when my squad leader, Jeff, came up to me and asked if I’d be willing to lead worship that Thursday. “Absolutely!” I responded, getting butterflies in my stomach almost instantly. I had no idea how he knew this was something God was pressing on my heart. I hadn’t even shared with my teammates that this was something I had prayed about months before.
So, I practiced my four songs on my friend’s guitar and led my squad in worship. I was so nervous and worship I think lasted only ten minutes, but it happened!
For the parent vision trip I didn’t have a guitar. Everyone who was sharing my ministry site didn’t have a guitar either, but ten minutes before we left I found out Jeff was sending his guitar with our team so we could use it! I had prayed a lot the night before that God would provide a guitar for me plus I didn’t ask anyone for a guitar!
After that I led worship for the pvt. And following that was our debrief in Thailand where I was asked again to lead alongside my friend Steve who plays the djembe. I learned a few more songs by that time and worship I think lasted a good twenty-five to thirty minutes!
Two nights ago I was asked again if I’d lead our three teams and passport team and lighthouse staff in worship. It was the first time I wasn’t scared! I was able to focus on the Lord and sing with everyone!
It’s been so cool because more than me playing the guitar and singing a few songs and walking in faith where God has called me, I have been able to marvel at how God remembered my prayer. I only prayed it that one month and stopped praying after that. Sometimes I don’t let myself pray for something too long because I don’t want to feel heartbroken or embrace hope incase it’s false. I let my defenses get the best of me.
I think there are a lot of prayers that I don’t remember I prayed until after I see them fulfilled. It’s like I’ve given up on them because, like I said earlier, I don’t want to dwell on something that may never be a reality. But isn’t that what faith is all about… defying reality?
I’m reminded of 2 Timothy 2:13
“If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.”
God didn’t forget my prayer. I was faithless at times, but He was still faithful.
