Something I’ve become more aware of in myself is my “hoarding” problem; I tend to hold onto superfluous things because I fear I’ll need them later. I worry that tomorrow I won’t be taken care of. Henry Cloud explains in his book Necessary Endings that we as a culture hang onto things, even relationships, not out of their merit but more out of one’s insecurity and need. I can’t help but wonder how such tendencies are of any value. Why would I want anything that I have to hold onto tightly out of fear of its loss? I don’t want to live in fear.
Today I read in Exodus 16 about the Israelites in the desert when they were given manna for the first time. Moses instructs them to take what they need ONLY for that day. However, some of the Israelites took what they needed for that day and the next day.
I can understand their motive. I’m sure they did this because they were so used to being in need having been slaves for so many years. You would think that after being delivered from the Egyptians they would trust the Lord to take care of them, after all he parted the waters, sent torrents of fire, locust, and plague to save them. And now they were in a desert where resources were more than limited. I think I would have done the same thing, it seems prudent and reasonable.
But, I bet the reason God didn’t want them to collect manna for the following days was so they could see his provision every single day. They had to learn to not think like slaves anymore, to not live like slaves to their fears.
The manna the Israelites collected for the following days rotted overnight; they were filled with maggots by the next day. But, new manna STILL showed up the next day. I can’t help but parallel this story with my tendency to hold onto things too tightly, so much so that the beauty of its provision is taken from it and it begins to stink and often wreak havoc in my life.
I don’t really have a physical hoarding problem. I don’t have a closet filled with my childhood memories spilling at the seams. But, there are items that I place too much of my identity in. There are relationships that I hold tightly to, afraid that in loosening my grip I’ll lose my security for tomorrow. There are things that if I were to lose completely I would wonder who I was. So out of fear of losing who I am my grip gets tighter, I collect more things, more people, anything that makes me feel safe from tomorrow’s “threats.”
I love this story. I love the reminder that my security for tomorrow doesn’t rest in anything I hold onto today.
