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I can pretty much guarantee that my blogs for the rest of this month aren’t going to be cut and clean. They’re going to be raw and unedited and real. So I warn you now that sometimes they might not make sense. Sometimes they’ll be angry. Sometimes they’ll be joyful. Sometimes they’ll be prayers. Sometimes there will be pictures, and sometimes there won’t. I would hope that you read anyway. But it’s all my heart. So, here is my heart. Try and keep up. 🙂

Proverbs 20:30 reads,

         “Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being.”


I take that as talking about brokenness. Talking about the heart, the “inmost being.” I think that it’s talking about God breaking us so that everything will be stripped away until all that’s left of us is Him.

My heart is in a continuous state of hurting. Just when I think that I can’t take any more weight of reality and how painful it is, He brings more. I’m seeing new things with my physical eyes that I’ve never seen. I’m seeing new things with my spiritual eyes that I never thought I’d have the ability to see. Isaiah 54:2 says,

“Enlarge the place of your tent; stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes.”


I feel like this is what He’s doing with me. My world has only been what I’ve seen and experienced in my comfortable, American world. Sure, I’ve seen the ads and commercials with the little children and their swollen bellies and flies in their eyes. And yes, it breaks my heart. But there’s nothing any commercial or picture could do compared to seeing things with your own eyes. I stand and look at people dying from a disease that they think they deserve from some sin they’ve committed in a past life. I see men and women selling their bodies as worthless things to be used because they don’t think there’s any other way to live. I see children playing bare foot in the street because they don’t have enough money for shoes, when all the while, they’re in factories making shoes that kids in America get to put on. My world has been so small in comparison. And God is stretching me. He is lengthening my cords and strengthening my stakes to be able to hold more of the reality that so many people have never seen. And it hurts. My world is enlarging. My world is stretching. My heart is breaking. And I don’t think the pain of it all is going to stop. Because I’m just going deeper into this. God is taking me deeper into His heart. And His heart breaks for His children. His heart longs for them to call out to Him. I feel so small and insignificant sometimes when I look at the reality of this dying world. What can I do? I’m only one person. How do I do this? Where do I even start?

But then I remember…all the way, my Savior leads me. I might not have words to speak, or actions to take. I might not be able to do a thing. But I’m a light in this dark and dying generation. And the least I can do is light up the world. Hellen Keller put it beautifully:


“I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”


Lighting Up the World,

~Eryn