If you read the blog “Pouring My Heart Out,” this is part two to that.
Isn’t it just like Satan to keep us silent. I didn’t want to share with my team what I was struggling with because it was a very vulnerable subject, and it brought me shame. But they encouraged me to share with them anyway. And once I did, it was like a blinder was taken off and I could see God more clearly than I had in the last week. They brought many new perspectives and much encouragement to my heart. And I felt God overwhelming me with comfort. He had been through my entire struggle thus far, but confusion had blinded me. Perhaps when all we can see is our pain, that’s when we lose sight of God. Yesterday, I heard a beautiful song for the first time, and God sealed up all of the comfort He had been giving me the last few days. It’s called “Just give me Jesus.”
Just give me Jesus, and I’ll be alright
With Him I can make it, walking beside
I know my tomorrows are safe in His hand
Just give me Jesus, I know I can stand
So many distractions seem to cloud my way
With the cares of life surrounding, they can lead my heart astray
When I cannot find the answers, I know someone who can
In the middle of my questions, I reach for His hand
Just give me Jesus, and I’ll be alright
With Him I can make it, walking beside
I know my tomorrows are safe in His hand
Just give me Jesus, I know I can stand
When I take my eyes off Jesus, and confusion starts to win
When my worries overwhelm me, and the battle reaches in
In that moment I remember, I know who is I AM
When the enemy comes rushing, I reach for His hand
Just give me Jesus, and I’ll be alright
With Him I can make it, walking beside
I know my tomorrows are safe in His hand
Just give me Jesus, I know I can stand
We are servants of the King, and our future is secure
A crown of life is waiting, for all who will endure
When I stand before my Savior, and He reaches out to me
I’ll lay all my crowns before Him, and fall to my knees
And cry,
Just give me Jesus and I’ll be alright
With Him I can make it, walking beside
I know my tomorrows are safe in His hand
Just give me Jesus, I know I can stand
Just give me Jesus, I know I can stand
Things are hard right now. No doubt. It’s a long road ahead. But while listening to this song, God gave me a picture and thought.
Jesus and I were walking down the road together, side by side. I glanced down at His hands and saw His scars. They were the most beautiful scars ever to be bore. The scars bearing the mark of His love for me. I took His hands and kissed the scars and brushed my fingers over them and then looked into His eyes. They were full of love, always full of love. And He reached His hand up to my face and brushed His hand over it. He leaned down and He kissed my face. I knew He thought I was beautiful. And He was showing me a parallel, and asking me a question. If this thing that I’m struggling with was to be scars marking my love for Him, would I be ok with that? First I was in awe at such a parallel, at such a comparison to His own scars bearing the marks of His love for me. When my struggle was put that way, I had never felt more ok with it in my life. If this is going to bring God glory, then this truly is me bearing the marks of my love for Him. This is part of my cross that He asks me to carry for Him.
It’s going to be hard still. But Abba, I know who is I AM. I’m honored, humbled and in awe of Your revelation and perspective in me. It truly was breathtaking and so comforting and promising. And it was just another reminder that you always walk beside me. There are desires I have for my life, yes. Many that run deep. But in my heart and soul and spirit, if all I had was you, I would be alright. I know I would stand. You’ve always been the only One, Jesus, to keep me standing. Thank You, though, that You want and have more for me than just “alright.” Please help me to trust in Your timing, and to learn contentment and joy in my circumstances. Jesus, I’m so in love with You.
Thank you friends, to all who have been praying for me. 🙂
Lighting Up the World,
~Eryn
