My First Love

“You have persevered
and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this
against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which
you’ve fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent,
I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.”

The last few days have been absolutely incredible with
Jesus. He’s been completely stealing my heart and beckoning me to come spend
time with Him. Some of the times I’ve felt Him call, I haven’t gone. I was busy
doing other things, or told Him I’d come later. But other times, when I’ve felt
Him calling to my heart, I couldn’t deny Him and went to Him. And the times
that I’ve gone to Him when He called have been absolutely amazing. Those times
made me question myself why I don’t go to Him every time He calls. Why wouldn’t
I want to go spend time with the Lover of my soul? Why wouldn’t I want to be
swept away by my Beloved? What could possibly be more important than what He
wants to do with me when He beckons me?

Nothing.

At the beginning of our salvation, or after God renews us,
we go through a period of time where we can’t get enough of Him. We’re reading
our Bibles all the time, we’re praying and worshiping everyday. But somewhere
in there, over a period of time, we start to get into a routine. Things start
to become normal and the awe is lost. And in doing this, our spirits become
stagnant. This is the point when we start to grow weary of the Christian walk.
We are doing all these things for Jesus, serving Him and serving people. Yet
even as we’re working for Him, we are missing the most crucial part of our
walk. We’re forsaking our first Love because He gets lost in all of our efforts
to serve Him. He loves when we serve Him by helping others, or by doing service
projects or whatever. But too many of us lose the relationship part of our walk with Him. All Jesus wants is our love
and affection. All He wants is a relationship with us. And like it says in that
verse, when we forsake our first Love, even unintentionally, our lampstand gets
removed. This is when we get tired, and start questioning where God is, or
start doubting. It’s because we’re not doing what we did at the beginning! I
feel like He says to us, “Remember when you were completely satisfied in me?
When in my presence, you had complete fullness of joy? I miss you. Come back
and be with Me…”

And that’s what I’ve done. It’s what He’s been slowly doing
with me. And it’s made all the difference in the world. I got baptized today,
and I’ve never had a baptism mean so much to me or have so much significance.
God has made me a completely whole and completely new person in the last two
years, but most of all, the last two months. Every step I’ve taken, every inch
I’ve crawled, every tear I’ve cried, every victory we’ve had, have brought me
to this very moment. He’s been bringing me back to Him, my first Love. And now
I’m sealed with Him, and there’s nothing behind me anymore. I’m starting new.
I’m at the beginning. And this time, I’m not going to forsake my first Love.
How could I? There’s no one like Him. No one can do to my heart what He can. No
one can take care of my life like He can. I’m so in love with Him. I’ve made my
vows, no turning around. I’ve burned the bridges. I am His.