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I have found myself in a place of juxtaposition in India. The extremes of my experiences and emotions leave me in a state of both groaning and grinning…at the same time.  Groaning over the dirt, heat, and mosquitoes, yes, but my groans go even deeper than that. As I have searched scripture and prayed through this process, I realize that it is good because it points me to something greater.

 
My groans cause me to cry out and voice the pain and heartache I walk away with after visiting a squatter village or praying for a sick and suffering girl in her one room home.  Why do I not see the healing of a crippled boy?  Why are the eyes of the blind woman not opened?  I witness and live in the brokenness of this world, and as I experience more of it, my yearning for more than this temporary home grows. 


As I was journaling a couple of days ago, I decided to list the things I am seeing and living each day that are difficult and make me sad, as well as the blessings that make me smile.  Here’ s some of what I wrote:

Groaning:
·      Physical pain
·      Suffering in poverty
·      Broken families
·      False idols and animal worship
·      Sleeping on a cement floor
·      Mosquitoes that are constantly buzzing and biting
·      Dirt and dust everywhere

 
Grinning:
·      Pastor K and Diamond
·      Experiencing a new culture
·      Exchanging a smile with a child or woman passing by
·      Praying for villages
·      Sharing the message of God’s love
·      Hospitality shown as we enter homes
·      Redemption and hope for new life
·      Worship and reading God’s Word with my team


 
Often, I get too caught up in my life.  And I can also take on the burdens of others without handing them over to God.  I don’t always look at life with an eternal perspective.  I am struggling with this.  Living with sadness and seeing so much pain in this world, but wanting to recognize all the goodness and gifts of this life.

 I turned to Romans, and examined two passages on which I have been meditating over.
 

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in it.  The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.  For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.  We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.
Romans 8:18-22

 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13

 
Yes, we will have trouble on this earth.  Life is hard.  We are living among destruction and decay; the whole earth is groaning.  But we do not have to be overcome by it. 

We have hope, living hope, and future glory because of Jesus.  He conquered the grave and established an eternal home for those who believe and trust in Him.

My groans direct me to the Father.  Why, God?  I may not know the answers on this earth.  But I do know that the pains and suffering of this earth are temporary.   As 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 tells us,

“Therefore, do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen in temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

 

Do not lose heart. 

Though I am homesick and hot, tearful and tired, I will not lose heart.  I cry out to God and He knows my hurt.  But He has promised me hope and a future.  The groanings of this earth will continue, yet I grin because of the gift God has for me in heaven.