“Lord, I am after your heart. I’m after you. My heart’s beating for your heart- beating
for you.”
These past few days have been a rough. The morning of our 12 hour bus ride from El Salvador to Nicaragua, I woke up with a nasty
stomach virus. My body rejected
everything it could while I bonded with my team in ways I never dreamed
possible. From losing the contents of my
stomach to a Ziploc bag on a bus full of barely conscious Racers and wide eyed
Latin Americans to bee-lining every restroom between San
Salvador and Managua,
I have never been so humbled.
Arriving in Jinotepe late Sunday evening, I felt
defeated. Unable to fight for myself,
how could I possibly go out and offer myself on behalf of others? I don’t know how to pray many articulate
prayers, but I know that the cry of my heart was heard by my Father.
Venturing out into ministry this morning, I wondered how 25+
people would walk- through the Jinotepe barrios and a dump without making a
scene. After about 15 minutes of a brisk
walk through neighborhoods of simple cinder block houses with corrugated tin
roofs, the teams began splitting off and wandering into yards- laying hands on
the sick, praying for those in need and offering Jesus to anyone who would stop
and listen.
Walking up to Lorraine’s
house, my heart began to break. Her face
read helpless. Her story explained. After losing every material possession in her
house to thieves, her husband left her.
With several children and no means of generating income, her future is
void of hope.
I have no way of comprehending the pain this woman has
experienced. I have no words that can
change circumstances, no experience that matches hers. I stood before her with nothing to offer-
nothing but a broken heart and tears. As
we stood praying in her small home, heaven came down. Jesus took my heart out, put his in, and
allowed me to feel his heartbeat in my fingertips as I held Lorraine in my arms and wept with her. My weary, empty heart poured out love.
Brokenness is powerful, love can change
lives, Jesus is moving. I still want
more. I still want it all.
