[I have a lot to say on the subject of TRUST…its a theme I’m really, really, REALLY struggling with…but its where God has me so I’m sharing this with ya’ll.]
To the ghosts of guy friends, boyfriends, or friendlationships past,
You’re wearing me out. For whatever reason God decided NOW was the time to bring up old hurts, insecurities, or remembrances of ALL of you that I hadn’t fully dealt with…and I sure do wish there weren’t so many of you to recall. It sounds like one of of those lame knock knock jokes… a rockstar, a body builder, and a lumberjack walk into a bar…ok jokes never go like that with those specific people…but HERE… WE… ARE.
At least one of you I blame on robbing me of my joy of guitar playing, another on a career change, and another on a move to another state, etc, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah. I own those choices I just wish people didn’t look like you, play guitar the same, work-out in the same way, or fill in the BLANK. THIS HURTS! I know I’ve learned some from these experiences…but I don’t exactly know what to do with the hurt of the experiences. It’s like a boiling pot of tomato soup with no pot holders or towels in sight and a white linoleum floor that you’re renting….what to do? WHAT TO DO? Let it completely boil over and irreversibly stain a floor you don’t own or??? Call your mom for stain removal advice? Accept the burn of the tomato soup? Avoid any food that might boil or cause stains? Use a microwave instead? Yeah…so here I am…I don’t know the next step for this either…and maybe I don’t need to see or know what’s next…but I can’t stay feelin’ all yucky like this forever…so I guess it goes back to that T word…TRUST or whatever God keeps trying to push me towards…trusting Him…trusting others…trusting that I won’t always make what I view as horrible choices in men or other such things. TRUST.
Trust it’s what’s for dinner…
You can’t eat trust for dinner!!!???
But, you can try.
