In 2003 while still living in Alaska God placed this idea in my heart to go and serve the world…it had been there for some time…but God woke me up to it again. Skip to 2004 I was living in Taiwan teaching ESL and I found out about an Around the World trip and applied, got accepted, and spent the next 9 years doing an incredibly lousy job at raising funds and not particularly getting anywhere…the journey was worth it though! 1-2 years before that a friend mentioned the World Race…I looked at the website but totally blew it off. Towards the end of 2012 after attempting to fundraise for the other trip more and more I kept hearing about World Race…oh so your going on the World Race (um, no)? What about that gal that went on the World Race (that's nice)? blah, blah, blah World Race. So I applied…and here I am…but the here I am still just shocks me at times. I was able to get a refund from the previous trip…MEGA BLESSING there. God redirected my path on more efficient ways to sell Threads of Hope bracelets, and other fundraisers.
Things…just…started…to fall into place.
I went to training camp in a fog it seemed like…I expected an ACME anvil to fall on me or something…it just didn't seem possible that I could be taking some real forward movements to GO.
Launch Dates became available and that became a bit more real…but it wasn't until my mom asked me if she should set-up a curtain rod "for all my clothes" in the basement that things became…REAL…that I was really going to leave?
I'm not a hardcore clothes person…but I do have a bunch of junk in my parents basement. What I think startled both of us is that I said "no"….because I had already decided in my head…I wasn't going round' that mountain again…ie there would be next to no clothes to hang up because I refuse to be "that" girl, that size, that kind of brokeness again. Oh I'll be broken…God is sure to help me with that…because He loves me to pieces and wants to grow me…but I refuse to be this physical size any longer due to emotional baggage I've been holding onto to "protect" myself…from what? My "protection" has become a prison to me in certain ways…limiting…and I know I've got a long life ahead with playing with gobs of munchkins…so something outta be done about that. I'm not sure WHAT this looks like…but I was shocked…ok a little annoyed/intimidated by how many people on my Squad ENJOY…yes I said it, ENJOY running? I mean…who enjoys that? And then I thought..when I was in Taiwan…I did something that resembled…a fast walk er almost a jog? It wasn't horrible. I survived. Foreigners gawked…but they gawked just because I was white….so who cares?
So…although getting "in-shape" seems as plausible as hopping on a rocket ship and flyin' myself to the moon…I'm willing to risk it…to try it…because… why not? I'm willing to come back a totally new chick in all the OTHER areas of my life…why not physically too? So God…YOU listening??? This has NEVER EVER EVER worked for me…attemping to get fit has always been a fail…and I know I will have "fail" days…but I'm asking you to walk with me, drag me on days I don't "feel" like being obedient in this area…this new way to WORSHIP you…all of you with all of me. Let's do this!
P.S. I really am leaving July 4…its sinking in…and each day something new pops up that reminds me this is becoming more REAL. Thanks for listenin' and please pray that I would take these baby steps to begin this healing process emotionally, spiritually, physically!
