Wow, the last month has been a whirlwind. I put my notice in at work. Shared with family & friends my commitment to The World Race. Renewed my passport. Sent fundraising letters. Made plans to move back to Missouri. Bought a plane ticket for training camp. Received vaccinations for diseases I cannot even pronounce – yet I feel like I have so much more to do!
As I approach my last days in Chicago, family & friends have asked: “How are you feeling? Are you Sad? Scared? Excited?” I don’t really know how to answer them. OF COURSE I’m Sad – I’m leaving a wonderful life I’ve built. OF COURSE I’m Scared – I’m diving into the great unknown. But OF COURSE I’m Excited – I’m about to embark on an amazing adventure of self and soul discovery whilst (love that word) sharing God’s Grace all over the world.
To be sad means to be [affected with or expressive of grief or unhappiness]. God knew my story before I was born. He knew I would struggle in my faith. He knew that I would disappoint my parents, my family, my friends. He knew that I would choose my glory over His. BUT the moral of this story and every story – He has forgiven me. He has a plan for me. I just have to listen and GO.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
To be scared means to be [afraid of something: nervous or frightened]. God knew that we would be people who struggle with fear. He knew that in our world darkened by sin, there would be many things to be afraid of. If you search the Bible, the phrase “DO NOT BE AFRAID” is mentioned 365 times. I think it’s safe to say we should not live in fear. He’s got it.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
To be excited means to [cause feelings of enthusiasm in (someone): to make (someone) feel energetic and eager to do something.] King David was always expressing excitement for God. I think that came from him realizing God’s greatness because he was forgiven for his affair with Bathsheba. David knew he was a sinner, a fragile human being and that God was forgiving and that caused him to be be excited.
“Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth! Worship the LORD with gladness. Come before him, singing with joy. Acknowledge that the LORD is God! He made us, and we are his. We are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with THANKSGIVING; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation. – Psalm 100: 1-5
This EPIC journey that began in May isn’t rainbows and butterflies; all the time. Quitting a job I loved, uprooting my life, moving back to Missouri, praying for financial, emotional, mental and physical support, saying goodbye to wonderful friends and eventually saying goodbye to my family for 11 months – I find myself [almost daily] questioning my intentions, my decision to leave my comfortable little life to pursue His greatness. But then I’m brought back to this scripture over and over again:
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” – Romans 12:2
People ask, “What can I pray for you?” PEACE. Pray for PEACE in my decision. Pray for PEACE in my intentions. Pray for financial PEACE. Pray for emotional PEACE. Pray for mental PEACE. Pray for physical PEACE. Pray for PEACE for my family. Pray for PEACE for my friends. Pray for PEACE in the countries I will be serving. Pray for PEACE in all things.
“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:16
