These quotes are direct answers from my squad during final debrief when I asked them to share their thoughts. These quotes are unedited, raw and encompass the emotional journey racers face when anticipating reentry. Please be sensitive and patient with us as we figure out what coming home looks like. It’s a huge and sometimes overwhelming transition for us.
First, I’ll start with my thoughts…
Coming on this trip I expected a lot, but at the same time had no idea what to expect. I didn’t expect to get as close to people as I did. I didn’t expect to change as much as I did. I didn’t expect to be so impacted by the joys and hardships of the world. I didn’t expect to ever be put in a position of leadership. I didn’t expect that as I sit on this plane, I have to fight back tears when I think of leaving this squad I now call my family.
“Wait. What’s happening? Oh… I can’t think about this”
–Jordan Trueter
“I feel like I have 50 different emotions going on in my head. I’ve cried today. I’ve laughed today. And then I’ve tried not to cry again. I’m excited for what God has for me next, but at the same time it’s going to be so hard to leave this squad family.”
-Beka Hardy
“Will my dog remember me when I get home?”
-Megan Terrell
“It doesn’t feel real yet that it’s over, and it won’t feel real until we are back in America and all going our separate ways.”
-Danielle Leppo
“Am I going to be understood?
Did I lose enough weight?
Is it ever going to get better than this?
Did I actually change?”
-Jessie Schwartz
“I have no community back home. I can’t stop crying. I don’t want to leave these people that have become my family. Is my family going to see the change?”
-Tatiana Faminia
“I’m glad I started crying now about all of this instead at home when I am by myself.”
-Daniel Auzenne
“It’s like every moment is a roller coaster. Like, one minute you are laughing because of who you are with, and then you cry because you know you have to say goodbye. You are excited about all the change, but at the same time there is a fear that you’ll lose it.”
–Sara Shoup
“It’s moments like this when we are together as a squad when I really realize how much I am going to miss this. We laugh together and cry together, and it’s times like this we will never get back.”
-Danae Englund
“I can’t imagine my life without these people, but I know God is going to teach me more next year than He did this year so I know I have to go home in order for that to start. “
-Anika Erikson
“I’m just kind of in a state of indifference. I want to be emotional. I want to be sobbing my eyes out, but I can’t and I’m afraid it’s going to hit me when I’m all alone.”
-Melissa Friesen
“It’s like I’m in this weird place. I know I’m about to be in a whirlwind when I get home, but it will be hard to leave this community.”
-Teresa McMillan
“I am thinking how hard it’s going to be when we aren’t together and I want to put my arm around, or I want someone to laugh at an inside joke and I’ll turn to the person next to me and you guys won’t be around.”
-Marielle Moguel
“Just leaving the squad is going to be the hardest part. I have made so many friends who accept me for who I am as a man of God. The people I have met on this trip have been the best people I have met in my life.”
-Blake Meehan
Although this is hard, I can’t help but remain in a state of gratitude. This transition and goodbye wouldn’t be this hard if this year wasn’t SO great.
That’s the thing about following God. You can expect the greatest possible outcome of something and He will blow away your expectations every…single…time.
