It’s 2013, WOW!
Happy New Years!
I hope everyone
has had a blessed and happy start to a new 365 days. 🙂
I was listening to a podcast about surrender by
Steven Furtick, who defined a banner year as, “a year that exceeds our
expectation.” 2012 was off to a
rough start and if I’m really honest, it was probably one of the most
difficult I had experienced. Fortunately, God works all things for good, and in reviewing this past
year, I’m blown away by His faithfulness.
This past year was definitely a banner year, one in which the outcome is
greater than I could have ever imagined in comparison to where I was a year
ago.
I was still living in dysfunctional patterns
caused by the past, patterns in which I hadn’t allowed the Lord to work through
yet. I was living in a place of wanting
to control the outcome of my circumstances instead of releasing that control to
the Lord, trusting that He would work things out the way they needed to be and
not as I wanted. The
year has definitely been a rollercoaster with ups and downs, but in every
struggle, I’ve found myself closer to the Lord than ever before. The less I find myself battling my
uncontrollable circumstances and the more I place myself at the foot of the
cross in times of struggle, the freer I’ve felt and become.
Where there was hopelessness, I found hope. Where there was pain, I found healing. Where there was distress, I found rest. In times of turmoil, I felt peace. The less I tried in my own strength, the more
I became. The times I felt rejected, He
embraced me. The more I let go, the more
things began to fall into place. There
were times I felt broken, but was reminded that I am already whole in Him. The less I strived in my independence, the
more I became dependent on Him.
The more
I placed my circumstances in the hands of our Savior, the more I felt content,
forgiven, loved, equipped, and ENOUGH.
It hasn’t stopped there. I’m still in a process of being changed and
renewed daily. But the process is what
has made this past year beautiful and priceless. I was fighting against the Lord at the
beginning of the year, but as Steven Furtick stated in the podcast, “God
can’t win battles for us when we are fighting against Him.”
It took surrender to find myself where I am now.
Surrender is never easy, but is essential.
I still struggle with surrendering control, but as I reflect on this
last year, where I’ve been and where I am now, I am filled with the faith that
God alone will take care of us and knows exactly what we need.
On the last night of 2012, I stood in a hostel dining room placed in a remote location, just outside of Mumbai, India, worshipping with 50-something brothers and sisters. I can’t think of any other way I would have desired to end my year, being encouraged by those around me, worshipping the One that has healed me and brought me out of so much brokenness. Around the room stood women and men of God, each with a story that glorifies the power of our living Father. As I pondered how much He has done for each of us, I was blown away by the grace and love Jesus has had for us. The change of attitude I had had from the beginning of the year until that very moment was drastically different.
Words can’t express the gratitude in my heart for
where God has placed me. As I reflect
upon the drastic change I’ve experienced since January of last year, I can’t
even imagine what this next season of 2013 holds. Seeing what God has done in the last 4 ½
months pushes me into a state of excitement as I await to see the person I will
be at the end of the Race. The refining change is hard, challenging and often painful at times, yet
so desired, beautiful and necessary as I continue to walk into the person God is
calling me to be. In this next season, I
pray that God brings me to a place of peace, renewed mind and Spirit, filled
with boldness and confidence of who I am in Him. I desire to be the woman of God I am called
to become. Whether that means it’s easy
or hard, I wholeheartedly desire to pursue the path placed before me with an
eager and willing heart to put God above all things, before all things and
behind all things.
In conclusion, 2012 was an amazing year of
hardship, overcoming and becoming and I can only imagine the banner year that
2013 will become!
If you feel led to help me become fully funded, I am still in need of a little over $4,000 by March 1st! Any and all help is greatly appreciated! Thank you to all of my friends, families and supporters! You are all a huge blessing!
