It’s been a while! This past month I’ve focused on raising support for this new season I will be going into, serving with Adventures In Missions in Gainesville, GA. But let me explain, when I say ‘raising support’ it means is that I’ve spent a ton of time reaching out, sending individual messages, emails, letters, making phone calls, meeting with people.. putting faith into action. But what it also means is that I’ve spent a lot of time in prayer. The holy spirit [lovingly] made me completely aware of how much I’m not capable of doing this by myself. I’ve felt a lot of brokenness this season but it has produced a lot of surrender, praise, development of character, declarations of truth. God is certainly growing my faith.
So now, I’ll get down to what this blog is about. I had one of the best days of my life on Saturday. God has brought healing in my life and in my family!!
It started to build up on Wednesday, when I spoke over the phone with a sweet friend from my World Race squad. I mentioned some areas of my life that I still needed/wanted God to mend. Things that I even struggled with throughout the Race. After an hour long conversation and revelations from the Lord, she prayed over me and that was that.
Friday, I woke up early morning to the sound of the most intense thunder I’ve ever heard. It was the kind where lightning strikes and thunder claps at the same time, telling you not to go out [or else]. It shook our house. But in that moment at 6am, the conversation I had two days prior came to my mind.. and I felt an overwhelming sense of God’s presence with each boom of thunder. I was healed. I don’t know how to explain it, I just knew that’s what God was putting on my heart.. that healing was here, or it was on its way. I listened to the wild symphony and watched the rain from my bed while I rejoiced in my heart. I didn’t know exactly what that meant or how it would come about, but that didn’t make me less excited.
As the day went on, something totally random [but not random] happened. Late in the afternoon I felt a little bit of pain in my chest. It went on for a few minutes so I took some Ibuprofen. It turned out to be nothing serious, but it was enough for my mom to want to take me to a walk-in clinic. Better to not risk it. I had normal x-rays/EKG results, I was fine.
But that night I became a little emotional. I guess I had built up expectations. When I came home, I specifically wanted my dad to be more overjoyed and dramatic that I didn’t have a heart attack and die [I was kind of emotional]. I tried to express myself and didn’t do it effectively.. I was emotional. But even so, I wasn’t feeling heard. Lies from the past, feelings of being misunderstood and unloved resurfaced. I prayed, and went to sleep a little defeated and worn.
It’s true that the morning brings joy. I woke up and felt a new sense of determination. I went into the kitchen and planted myself at the table. Both my parents eventually came out to the kitchen, and I told my dad I was still hurt because of last night and wanted to talk about it [thank you, World Race feedback sessions]. And, have you ever said that you wanted something, and felt surprised when it actually happened?
My dad grabbed his coffee and toast, and came to sit down at the kitchen table across from me. I was a little stunned. And the three of us [my mom, dad & me] talked. For three hours. Not so much about the night before, but more about the struggles and miscommunications we’ve had for so long. Hurts that had happened within our family years and years ago stayed hidden under rubble for so long. And now, everything — frustrations, hurts, explanations, secrets & regrets were brought to the table. But there were also long pauses, tears, encouragement, good stories, laughter, & hugs that followed [it’s okay, you can cry too]. It’s hard to explain what it was like; it was painful and freeing at the same time. That’s how it feels when darkness is brought out into the light.
It was so meaningful and beautiful that God would bring redemption to me in this way. When He had shown me healing was coming while it thundered, I thought it was something that would take place internally, between Him and I. I never guessed others would get involved, certainly not my family.. but it required a minor bump in the road, a trip to the walk-in-clinic, to show me that my healing wouldn’t just be a one-way street. Three people experienced healing on that Saturday. And the other two, I love more than anyone in this world.
I’m convinced that healing doesn’t come because God decides to snap His finger one day and heal. Healing stems from the overflowing love that comes straight from the heart of God the Father. A few years ago, God gave me identity and purpose just by showing me how much He loved me. And He has healed me now in that same way. He loves, and He has enabled light to shine and love to blossom in my family.
It’s hard to explain what that healing really meant for me. But just so you know, struggles and bondages that I’ve had for most of my life.. they’re gone. It’s not because He loved me a little more on Saturday than any day before, and He doesn’t love people less if they aren’t healed. His timing is right. His love and grace is really amazing. Keep believing in His love and faithfulness to heal you!
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Fundraising Update!
THANK YOU to everyone who has continue to follow along and support me through prayer and financial support! Praise God I now have $2,109 in funds!!
DONATE TO MY NEW MINISTRY: I still need $891 to meet my first deadline for the Adventures Fellowship Program. My first deadline, September 1st, is quickly approaching. If you are able to support me with a one-time or monthly donation, click the “Support Me” tab on the left side of this page to make a tax-deductible donation. Or, cut the small online processing fee by mailing a check to:
Adventures In Missions
PO Box 742570
Atlanta, GA 30374-2570
Checks should be made out to “Adventures In Missions”
***Put “Erin Costello” in the memo line of the check!
Thank you again and I’m really excited to share in this journey with all of you!
Love,
E
[Also, sorry to my blog subscribers for the 6 emails you got from me. My internet was acting like it was frozen, so I kept clicking ‘post’ over and over! Haha. My apologies.]
