“Something else I came to understand is that for a long time I lived out of a ‘poverty mindset’. I probably can’t explain that theology the best, but its basically when we live with the belief and attitude that we are “less than” and we usually do so in the name of suffering for Christ or in the name of humility. Those concepts aren’t bad, they’re godly, but I believe they’ve been misunderstood by believers [including myself] a lot.”
That’s where I left off in Part 1. My purpose isn’t to undermine the suffering people go through, nor is it to tell everyone they need to agree with everything I write. We all have our own experiences, relationships, hardships, walk with God that impacts our lives in different ways. God’s Word is the absolute truth we adhere to, and the holy spirit speaks to us individually.
I’m just one lil lady who wants to know God’s heart better, and I want everything He has for me! I want most of all to please him. Maybe my shared experience will stir that desire in others too.
On humility. God calls us to be humble. Growing up, there was so much pressure in the church regarding this topic. It intimidated me. So in effort to stay humble and prevent pride, I sacrificed identity for most of my life. I remember a tough season [high school and part of college] where my problems seemed magnified and overwhelming to me often. I usually coped by laying on the floor of my bedroom, soaking the carpet with tears.
While I did that I said all kinds of things to God that mirrored the insecurities I felt about myself. While I sobbed, out came something like “God I’m nothing. I’m so unworthy of you!” And although I believe my intentions were good at that time, and I probably felt like I was moving towards humility or something, I can’t say God was glorified by my [definition of] humility. In that moment, I can’t imagine Him looking at me and smiling, feeling elevated at my pain and all the negative things I was saying about myself. All those things I was saying were only feeding the insecurity I felt in my heart. The truth is I didn’t feel I had worth. Didn’t feel worthy of others, of God.
And although the grieving and crying part were exactly what I needed and I would encourage others to embrace grieving,
we’re talking about the part where I was trying to reach humility, and meanwhile God’s heart was most likely crying along with me. He was sad. He wasn’t exalted.
And that’s what humility is supposed to do; true humility brings glory to the Creator.
I once heard someone say that “humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” When we speak words that degrade who we are, we speak death and lies over ourselves instead of being in agreement with all the wonderful things Christ says about us as new creations.
I once heard this analogy:
“Imagine you are a painter. I walk into a room and it has one of your large beautiful paintings on the wall. All of a sudden I say, “That’s a stupid painting! Look at all those ugly colors!”
Does demeaning the painting glorify the artist? Isn’t it true that the beauty of the painting actually brings honor to the artist? You didn’t paint yourself – God painted you, and when we demean ourselves, we talk badly about our Creator. The beauty of creation actually gives glory to the creator!” [quote by Kris V].
So, I don’t have to think less of myself in order to be humble. And you don’t either. If we truly believed what the New Testament has to say about us, we would walk more in confidence [different from pride] that we’re really awesome!
According to the Word we are chosen [Col. 3:12] more than conquerors [Romans 8:37], partakers of the divine nature [2 Peter 1:4], a holy priesthood [1 Peter 2:5], seated [past tense] with Christ [Eph. 2:6-7], righteous through faith [Philippians 3:9], adopted [past tense] into the royal family [1 John 3:1-2] and so much more!
I’m so passionate about this topic because I’d been a slave to insecurity for so long. And not only insecurity, but I believe my freedom in Christ was suppressed by a spirit of religion. Religion told me how to be humble, so I just never even addressed Jesus on the topic.
No longer am I slave to any of those things. Amen!
I don’t want to give a bad taste to others in my statements about religion. I’m not against members of a church; not an antagonist. If I offend anyone I want it to be the enemy that wars against our souls.
I love the church! I want to work with the body of Christ to bring more believers into a new realm of freedom. Part of my entry into this newfound freedom is that I came to a place of brokenness and surrender. And then God led me to create a space and an atmosphere for the holy spirit to come in and speak and flood my heart in new ways that i haven’t ever known.
We can arrive at a place where the Word actually becomes living and active, where we walk in power. The Spirit isn’t just a conscience. The Bible names him as one of the persons of the trinity [Gen. 1:26, Acts 5:3-4]. He is living and speaking and that only became more real when Christ left the earth [John 16:7].
“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8
When we know what we carry inside of us, we can start to walk in it.
