“I would have lost heart. Unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13
Here in Cambodia, I almost lost heart. (Emphasizing deeply the “almost.”) It’s just that, lately, my life has been a lot about overcoming. Overcoming fears – of shortcomings; in leadership and otherwise. Overcoming heartache – realizing that the deeper I love, the deeper it stings when those whom I love struggle. Overcoming hurt from unrealized hopes and expectations.
But, like a good young Christian missionary (ha), I stood firm, knowing that I would one day deeply see the goodness of the Lord. Hallelu.
Then, the Holy Spirit graciously expanded my understanding of that scripture.
He reminded me that we don’t live in the past.
Nor do we live in the future.
We live in a continuous expression of the present.
Which means, seeing the goodness of the Lord in the “land of the living” means seeing Him more and experiencing Him move in the very moment.
Not just hoping for the future. Or recalling the testimonies of the past.
But seeing God’s goodness in the here and now.
In the midst of the fear.
And heartache.
And unrealized expectations.
Within the process of the overcoming, I see the goodness of Jesus.
The next verse of this Psalm reads, “Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord!”
The beauty of this is, as we continue to overcome and see His goodness, miraculously, He expands our capacity to perceive Him.
Which causes us to ask for more of Him.
And for this more, we wait. And He strengthens our hearts in this waiting, because He is good, and He longs for us to see His goodness here.
In the moment.
In the midst of fear.
And heartache.
And unrealized expectations.
In the land of the living.
From my heart,
Erika
