Sometimes, I dig into God timidly. As though He only has so much to give, so I must carefully savor what I get from Him before I reach the end. Yes, every single word from the Lord is completely precious. Yes, even the smallest glimpse of His heart is a deep treasure. But, I need to be blatantly aware of the fact that, when I receive of God, He does not decrease. His boundless nature extends far, far beyond what I can even begin to comprehend. Far beyond my capacity to receive.
I praise Him for His limitlessness.
Sometimes, I shy away from asking God the hard questions. I shy away from revealing any part of myself that isn’t completely ravished in deep trust of His steadfastness, as though my questions would offend Him beyond forgiveness. But, I need to remember that God isn’t intimidated by my doubt. He freely gives answers to even the hardest of questions, and when the answers don’t bring solace He freely gives peace. Far beyond my capacity to receive.
I praise Him for His faithfulness and for being unwavering Truth.
Sometimes (ok, way more specific …This month in Romania), I feel stretched. In the uncomfortable Bilbo Baggins, “like butter over too much bread” way. I feel God’s call to love others in an unrestricted way, but I withhold, and I compare how I give of myself with how I’m being given to. Sometimes I fear that I out-love. As though every way I offer of myself is unequaled and a balance will never be achieved.
Jesus recently reminded me of the danger of comparison. That, when I feel my “giving of myself” is unmatched, I need to re-evaluate who I’m holding as a standard. He reminded me that there is no need to compare, for HE is my standard and He already gave it all.
He calls me to love. Wholly. Earnestly. Unquestioningly. Period.
And, if I love using my own strength, I’m loving too small. He calls me to love beyond my capacity to do so, because He lavishes His love on me far (far, far) beyond my capacity to receive.
I praise Him for being the essence of Love and that He’s nowhere near finished with shaping my life.
From my heart,
Erika Venese
