When I began the Race in early September, I had no intentions of setting foot on US soil until I’d been to 11 countries 11 months later. However, God had other plans.
I spent September in China,
October in Thailand,
and November in Cambodia… for two weeks.
Followed by two weeks in America.
My father had some unexpected health challenges surface in the past few months, and spending two weeks with him and the rest of my family over Thanksgiving in lovely Michigan was a beautiful blessing.
But it was also difficult.
Being away from my family and friends, far from all of the familiarities and comforts of home, my only true constant became my Heavenly Father. How deeply I relied on Him in those months.
When I missed the love of my family and couldn’t physically be with them, I called to the Lord to make me more aware of His loving embrace. If I wanted comfort and peace, I couldn’t run to Meijer for the comfort food of some Peace Tea, I had to turn to my Jesus. I often realized it was 2 am back in Michigan when I would want to hear my mom’s counsel or the cheerful voices of my friends. I couldn’t talk with them, so I’d instead speak with the Father and receive HIS wisdom and joy. In the stretching situations happening constantly, I relied on the Holy Spirit as my very present Comforter.
Being “away” made being nearer to the Father easier than ever before in some ways.
And then I came home.
I could see and hug my family, eat the foods I’d been craving, glean from my Mom for hours and spend time with my closest friends. (Thank you for keeping my homeward hiatus on the down-low, guys. You know who you are. 😉 )
It amazes me how quickly something can become “normal.”
During the beginning days of my two weeks at home, it became normal for me to seek the Lord for several moments in the morning…or at some point in the afternoon… or evening… and then mentally vow to go deeper in Him at some later time. It became normal to shift focus from the Father as my ultimate and truest source and “outsource” to the comfort of my family and friends.
One night, I realized how parched my spirit was getting by not pressing into Christ as I had done daily for weeks and weeks when away from home. I spent the night awake with my Heavenly Father; in worship and in His word. I rested in Him and cried out for forgiveness of my halfhearted pursuit of Him.
My incredibly wise pastor once said, “You pray and seek God in accordance to how much you think you need Him.”
I became, that night, so deeply aware of how much I need Him.
He is the only Source I choose.
But, I have to make this choice everyday. Some days this choice, choosing Him, comes very easily. Other days, I have to tightly close my eyes to avoid “outsourcing” to other things as I gaze upon HIM as my source.
I returned overseas in the beginning of December, spending Month 4 of my Race in Malaysia. Here, I realized what a privilege it was to experience the dangers of “outsourcing” before my Race ended. After being away for a straight eleven months, it could become ridiculously easy to fall into the life you had before the Race began – easy for you to so relish the comforts of home that your fervor in seeking the Holy Spirit as Comforter lessens.
I walked through this after being “on the Race” for 3 months and at home for just 12 days.
Christ taught us in Matthew chapter 5 that those who are poor in spirit are blessed, that the Kingdom of God is theirs. I now understand this to mean this – Blessed are those who know their dire need of God – realize the utter poverty of their souls without His fullness – and seek Him and Him alone to be filled, for His Kingdom will reign in the hearts over all else.
May the Kingdom of God be yours.
From my heart,
Erika Venese
PS. I would so appreciate your prayers for my dad’s health, healing, and wholeness. We are believing for a miracle, so it’s a good thing we serve a miracle making God. (:
