Everyday is different with how I'm feeling about going on the World Race. Sometimes I'm excited about going because I'm going to get to go to places I've never been before, I'm going to see things I've never seen before, becasue I'm going to get to meet new people, becasue I know that God is going to change my life completely. But these same reasons are the same reasons why I'm scared. I'm going to places I've never been before…I don't really know what to expect. Sure I can research the counrties and read other people's blogs, but it's not the same as actually being/living in the places you read about. I'm going to see things I've never seen before. I'm going to see people who are poorer than the poor, and I know that's not going to be an easy sight. I'm going to meet new people, which is mostly exciting, but I am a shy person…so meeting so many new people at once makes me a little nervous. And as far as God changing my life…..I just want to share with you, what God has been teaching me the past couple of weeks.
The other night I laid down in my bed to go to sleep, and all my thoughts and feelings about the World Race came over me, and they were not good thoughts and feelings. I was upset. I did not want to do this! I thought about all the things I was not going to have for those 11 months. I would not be sleeping in a big comfy bed, I would not be showering in a nice hot shower, I will not have a car to drive, I will not be eating the things I want to eat, I won't be able to see my friends and family whenever I want, and I wouldn't be honest if I said I didn't worry about raising $15,000. That night I just wanted to quit, I wanted to throw all of this fundraising and planning for the World Racs down the drain. Why? Because it would be easier that way. Because then I wouldn't be challenged in my faith. Because then I wouldn't have to leave my home and the people I love.
And some people might ask….If you don't want to go, if you don't want to do this…then why don't you do it another year or just not do it? And that's exactly the reason why sometimes I get upset. Becasue I would choose not to go, but God called me to go NOW. Why? I don't have that answer, and I can't put it into words what I feel, but if I don't go now…when He's calling, I feel as though I'm going to miss out on something BIG that God has planned.
After all, this trip is not about me….this life is not about me. The day I gave my life to Jesus, it became His. Wheverever He goes (because God is a God that moves), I must follow. I must die to myself everday so that He may become greater. I am saved by the blood of Jesus Christ, and He will provide my every need, and He promises that He will never leave me. So becasue God has called…I'm going to show Him my faith by trusting Him. "What is impossible with men is possible with God." (Luke 18:27)
Is this supposed to be easy? No.
Through these challenges God is testing my faith! And He is growing me day by day! "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith develops preserverance."
(James 1:2-3)
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4)
I am honored to answer God's calling to share the good news of Jesus so that others may be saved, and "nothing's gonna hold me back for my chains are gone and I've been set free!" (Jesus Culture)
