Well, I am sitting in the airport waiting for my flight back to San Diego after a week at training camp. My mind is flooded with new experiences, friends, and cultures to process. I am so overwhelmed. I find myself slipping into panic-mode every once in a while and have to talk myself out of it. I am EXTREMELY excited for this trip, so don’t get me wrong, but the lack of luxury this past week brought the reality of this next year on the World Race to the surface.
I am walking away from SO much! I am leaving behind so many amazing friends and family! I am kissing goodbye the right to a shower every morning. I am sacrificing air conditioning, convenient travel, and McDonalds! For the next year of my life, I won’t just be able to pick up the phone and call my friends or family for a chat. I am not going to be in the hospital to experience the birth of my best friend’s first child or help her through the first six months of being a brand-new mommy. I will not get to see my own mommy for an entire year!!
But as I focus on the sadness of leaving, I try my best to push my mind to the reason I want so badly to go on the World Race and I am reminded of something I heard at camp, “I honor all of you for what you are leaving, and I understand that it is a lot. But I have seen the kids. I have seen the struggling women in prostitution. I have seen the hunger, sadness, and hopelessness. And I see the answer in you guys!” This statement brings so much encouragement! I may be giving up so much, but it is only a year of my life, and the impact could continue for a lifetime! It could even dictate the goals and passions of the rest of my life!
I dream of finding my passion on this trip. I want to see things in person that I have only seen on TV and have it rock my world! A year from now, when I step back on U.S. soil, I want to KNOW that I am not the same person who boarded that plane in January 2012. I pray for a broken heart with so much passion for God’s people that it consumes me.
But above all the good I want to do, I want to experience a relationship with God that I never dreamed possible. I am excited to be in a situation of complete brokenness that forces me to a state of overwhelming dependence on God. I am excited to find my identity in Him and who He calls me to be!
Lord, give me a situation that throws me into a consuming relation with You! Give me struggle, frustration, and strength to overcome all! Bring me to a place where You are number one and my life is centered on You. This is my prayer for the following year. I desire to know and follow You. Amen.
