Shocker! But I feel as if this is what I am processing through right now.
I remember back when I was raising support for the World Race.
People would tell me..
Oh man, what you are doing is great.
Wow, I don't think I can do that. That's a long time.
It takes a special person to dedicate their lives to Jesus like that and go serve.
Statements such as these, I would hear all the time.
I still hear them from time to time.
And the statements have validity.
– It is really cool to travel the world and serve Jesus.
However,
The thing about the World Race is that it doesn't turn you into a…
Perfect Christian.
The one who is happy all the time,
never judges anyone, never raises his/her voice,
the one who refrains from unrighteous thoughts.
The Christian that basically doesn't exist.
9 months later, I am still Erica.
I still enjoy a lot of the things I enjoyed before I left.
I love Latin dancing, chicken tacos from Island's,
hip-hop music, Chick-fil-A, and movies.
I still dream big dreams and want to be in 1000 places at one time.
I am still me, personality wise.
With all that, however, changes have been made in my spirit.
I am more joyous.
I am free from the bondage of my past.
I understand my identity better.
I understand my spiritual gifts more.
I speak in my love language to my Father.
I have a better knowledge of the Truth…the Word.
There are many things that have changed in me.
Do all these changes in my heart make me perfect?
Heck. No.
I still fail at times, even though I'm on the World Race.
I get irritated, or apathetic.
I may say something out of character or get annoyed with my teammate.
I doubt the power of the Lord sometimes.
And at times I have a hard time remembering who I am…
and Whose I am.
God still shows up in me though and gives me a nudge.
He reminds me of the changes.
He reminds me that He is a sovereign God.
He reminds me in my weakness is when He is able to show who He is.
He reminds me in my imperfection that the cross made me perfect.
It made me righteous and cleansed my imperfections.
No matter how many.
He speaks to me a verse that I am always reminded of.
"If we are faithless, He remains faithful. For He cannot deny Himself." (2 Timothy 2:13)
Even when I am faithless.
Even when I am doubtful.
Even when I don't trust.
Even when I don't care.
He is faithful.
He doesn't doubt Himself, or His character.
He trusts Himself, and He still trusts me.
He cares.
So, if you expect me to be perfect, your expectations may not be met.
If you expect me to be changed, then your expectations are correct.
I am a changed person from all that I've seen and experienced across the world.
But perfect? Only Jesus is that.
