I have learned to prepare my heart at the end of every month for those bitter sweet good byes. It all happens in the transition of our crazy travel days. I stand here in this crowded lobby as we are all throwing on our packs getting ready to head out the door…
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
I just want time to stop for a minute, to sit and think about all God has done the last month in my heart here in Cambodia, but I am in the middle of a room full of 43 people, at least 20 questions being asked, and 20 conversations going on, we need to check out, catch the bus and get to the airport…
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
I find my seat on the bus, take a deep breath, freely let the tears fall, put my headphones in and look out the window. Listening to this song in the background, thanking God for all He has done in my life the past 7 months, for every little child I have been able to hold, for blessing me with an opportunity to do ministry in a village, for lighting a fire in my soul and giving me new dreams this month in Cambodia. As I listen to the lyrics, everything just slows down a bit..
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
Thank you Lord that is is hard to leave here. Thank you that you broke my heart for the people here. Thank you that I was able to experience sweet village life, and play with Your kids. Thank You for making Cambodia a part of the love story you are writing for my life.
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
I open my eyes and look out the bus window, and there she was, an old woman with a beautiful cloth wrapped around her head as she walked around ringing her bell with a cart full of trash. Her son sitting there on top as they walk around all day for a small sum of money. Her tired eyes and the way she walks tell a story in itself, she rings the bell and her son reaches for the trash that people hand him. Thank you Lord that you provide for Your children.
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
We continue on through the city, I see three siblings sitting on the edge of the side walk with their tangled hair and torn oversized T shirts, as all three of them share a piece of bread, they smile and giggle back and forth, but my heart still breaks. Thank you Lord for fighting for Your kids and dreaming with Your kids.
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
The city flies by as I sit in this big bus with my family, I have walked this journey out the last 7 months, pushing myself, closing up one chapter, and moving forward to the next, heading to new depths of dependence and intimacy that the Lord is always inviting me into, in a new country, with a new perspective and another opportunity to share His love and fight to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
We made it to the airport as all 43 of us shuffle off the bus. Deep breath. Thankful for this Journey, for every single moment of it.
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
"Prepare for take off" The plane starts to catch speed and my heart hurts, its pounding in my chest… for all the right reasons, I left a piece of my heart here in Cambodia. . . lift off. . . Here we go.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
Lord, give my heart peace leaving this beautiful place, and prepare my heart for all you have in store.
Content and at Peace,
Erica
